The Reveille’s opinion section is home to some of the biggest critics and connoisseurs of LSU’s darling bus system. Tiger Trails has several flaws. Things like constant lateness, a lack of general cleanliness and a dark, ominous and malicious energy emanating from the purple exterior all plague the buses.
But disregarding all that, a lot of students just don’t know how to use the buses. And while that’s their fault, why should students want to learn?
As I already said, the buses are just as likely to be a hindrance as they are to be helpful. They possess an exterior that is neither lovely nor fun. The inside is no better, à la “Silent Hill.”
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In fact, it’s my belief that if we changed the overall aesthetics of Tiger Trails, the entire attitude and effectiveness of the buses would increase.
Thus, my proposal: turn some of, if not all, of the Tiger Trails buses into Tiger Trailblazers, LSU’s newest experience.
Tiger Trailblazers would be LSU’s contribution to a better community. You may be wondering, “What are Tiger Trailblazers? Is this just a name change?” Well, no! The difference between Tiger Trails and its hypothetical, cooler sister is that these buses will act as a mix between university transportation and party bus.
This upgrade will change the entire current exterior to the most glamorous glittering gold and violet. The outside will be utterly mesmerizing, glitzy and kitsch. Who doesn’t want their eyes to be lovingly caressed by the sight of sunbeams or moonbeams refracting off the micro-plastic fragments in the paint, turning the surrounding area into ground zero for an impromptu rave?
The Tiger Trailblazer’s interior will be similar to her sister’s. The seats will have to be redone, each infused with a specially made glow-in-the-dark serum for maximum effect. I’m imagining a purple glow-in-the-dark effect rather than the highlighter yellow we’re all so accustomed to. The backs of the seats will be faux tiger stripes.
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All the metal railings in the bus must be redone in gold, and there will have to be at least one extra pole in the center, allowing for students to do a spin routine before getting off if they so wish.
The bus drivers will have the option to take on one of two new uniforms. The first, a bouncer suit with a tiger mask. The second, a fully LSU-ified DJ outfit. The driver will also have final say on any music, but students will be allowed to submit music for a queue in a style similar to the 459 Dining Hall.
This isn’t to say that all current buses should be redone. We’ll obviously leave some of them alone to preserve history and also let the other schools know that LSU isn’t just a party school.
Nay-sayers will proclaim that this is a bad idea, that it’s pointless and idiotic. To them, I say one word, “No.”
Garrett McEntee is an 18-year-old English freshman from Benton.
