Editor’s note: The following column is satire.
Halloween is a great opportunity to express oneself; however, there are certain pitfalls to be avoided. The recent revelation that doing blackface is bad is a step in the right direction, but many problematic costumes have still gone unscrutinized.
Karen
The term has become a slur for some of the most marginalized people in society: white women. Wearing this costume is wholly inappropriate.
Imagine the psychological impact it’ll have on any so-called K-words who see this. They’ll probably call the police, and they’d be right to do so. Wearing this costume is essentially a hate crime. What else are they supposed to do? Whoever decided that this costume should be sold, I’d like to speak to their manager.
Sexy Anything
Sexy nurse, sexy referee, sexy witch and others are classic costumes. The problem with these is the implication that the people in these professions are ugly.
Otherwise, why would you need a sexy version of it? Putting on that nurse costume is essentially saying, “I don’t get medical care anymore, because the thought of seeing a nurse’s ugly face makes me sicker than any disease I could possibly have.”
Implying that referees are ugly ignores the swaths of people who tune into the game just to see those zebras run and make calls. Many people are quite smitten with witches as well, so anyone thinking of wearing one of these costumes should remember that they’re engaging in uggophobia.
Shrek
The classic animated film has inspired people to dress as the titular character since its release. Every year, Halloween party goers put on a Shrek suit and some even go as far as to paint their faces green and wear Shrek ears. The costume is incredibly disrespectful to Ogres, especially the ones that use greenface. This one needs to stay in the closet forever.
The Riddler
One of the most popular Batman villains, the Riddler has become a staple for people who consider themselves clever. They like to go around speaking in riddles they find amusing, but they haven’t considered that people with anxiety may be triggered by simple questions, let alone riddles. They like to present riddles like, “What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?” without considering that the listener wants to break their face.
READ MORE: 8 last-minute Halloween costumes that are already in your closet
Any of The Scooby-Doo Gang
Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma and Scooby are all problematic costumes. We supposedly live in a world where the police are being demythologized, yet every Halloween, the costumes of volunteer police officers fly off the shelves.
Imagine being a high schooler and spending your time cruising around in a van looking to do police brutality. These free-time fascists should have never been on TV, and they definitely don’t belong on a list of acceptable festive costumes.
Hippie
Everyone dressing as a flower child should remember that hippies weren’t all about free love and opposition to war; there was a much darker side to the movement.
Many of them did hard drugs like marijuana and became hopelessly addicted. This addiction is no laughing matter, as marijuana overdoses account for 900,000 deaths a year in America. Imagine someone walking into a Halloween party with a belt tied around their arm and a spoon in hand while scratching themselves. Everyone else would rightly tell them to go home and find a more appropriate costume. If that same person came dressed as a ganja addict, everyone would cheer.
This Halloween should be the most inclusive one yet, but these costumes and others stand in the way. The less they’re seen, the closer society comes to true equality.
Frank Kidd is a 22-year-old mass communication senior from Springfield, Virginia.
