LSU Press Poet Anya Krugovoy Silver was presented with the Kennesaw State University Author of the Year poetry award for her book of poetry, “I Watched You Disappear.”
The book of poems explores an appreciation for life, but it also holds heavy themes as Silver wrote about her experience with cancer. But before her battle with the illness, Silver started writing poetry in the 11th grade.
“I had this wonderful English teacher, Ms. Baker, and after getting assigned a book of poetry to read, I knew this is what I wanted to do,” Silver said.
Silver was pregnant at the time she was diagnosed with cancer, and she turned to poetry to put her feelings down on paper and help herself get through the experience.
“I never expected it to happen to me because I was always healthy,” Silver said. “I felt as though I had to make sense of the experience somehow, and writing made me feel in control of my life … like I could find meaning in this meaningless event.”
Silver said she wanted to share her experience with the illness because she felt it would make a negative situation more positive. At first the amount of time she spent writing dropped because the treatment was overwhelming, but the volume increased as she focused on writing about the illness.
As her time with cancer progressed, her writing evolved as well. Her poems’ tones changed as she had better days and worse days with the disease. She described living with cancer as a rollercoaster.
“Living with a chronic illness is an up-and-down experience,” Silver said. “No one has one single response to diseases like that.”
Her book, “I Watched You Disappear,” is dedicated to those who are going through their own diagnoses and illnesses, as Silver knows first hand what it is like to live through such tough times. She said she hopes her poems help give peace of mind to those with cancer and other chronic diseases.
But in contrast, Silver said she does not like the sugarcoating of cancer in the nation nowadays.
“There is a certain narrative in America today perpetuated by certain foundations with pink ribbons and balloons,” Silver said. “They say that there will be a struggle with the illness, but you will get over it and move on. I feel as though this is a false narrative, especially for the women that do not survive.
“Cancer affects your life forever. It is not a big party where people give you presents. I am disturbed by that ‘pink-washing’ we see in our culture.”
As some advice to young writers, Silver recommends waiting until writers find their individual style and voice before publishing anything. While there’s a lot of pressure on young writers to get their stuff out there, making the work the best it can be is most important.
“For me, making the book was a four-year process,” she said.
Silver also recommends that writers be self-critical of their work and be prepared for plenty of rejection.
“I remember when I brought one of the first drafts of the book to my poet friend, thinking he would like it, and he told me it was not right at all,” Silver said. “At the time I felt terrible and that he was so mean, but I would be mortified now if that was
the version that was published then.”