As I was lying in bed Sunday night at around 2:20 a.m., I remembered a joke I forgot to tell my friend when I last spoke with him. I thought about getting up to grab my phone or sending him an e-mail with the joke. I contemplated getting out of bed butbut ultimately decided against it.
Afterall, I would have had to deal with stumbling through the dark and possibly stumping my toe on a hardback copy of Aesop’s Fables.
As I weighed my options I thought about how neat and convenient it would be if my friend and I had telepathic powers and could simply send instant messages via brainpower. Then I realized that God would never grant that kind of power to anyone who uses the word “neat” and fell asleep without ever telling him the joke. And now I can’t even remember the damn joke.
However, I did gain something out of my three-minute, middle-of-the-night semi-dilemma. It got me to thinking about communication and how here we are in the year 2006 and I think it a pain in the ass to spend 10 seconds to walk across a bedroom and retrieve my cell phone.
Over the past decade, cell phones and email have become our new primary tools for communicating with our friends, family, co-workers and teachers. It was only natural, then, that the subsequent brainchild of this technology boom was something that combined both the abilities of a cell phone and a computer.
Enter the BlackBerry. Introduced by the Canadian wireless device company Research In Motion – RIM, for short – this device allows the user to send emails, dial and receive mobile phone calls, text message and browse the Internet and other wireless information services.
BlackBerries are typically used by well-to-do corporate executives, big cheese media editors and Wall Street tycoons to keep up with clients’ affairs, world news, stock quotes and other information vital to their businesses. Unfortunately, they are also used by self-important wieners who can’t comprehend a computer or pay phone or just want to look cool with the latest electronic device clipped to their belt and requisite earpiece lodged in their ear. It is because of these cretins that I will never own said device.
BlackBerries are the 2-in-1 shampoo of the communication industry. They’re nice to have, and they save time – albeit usually only a few minutes – and they get the job done, but they are just not as beautifully archetypal as the original.
It seems some of our very own members of Student Government aren’t big fans of separate shampoo and conditioner either.
Last night the SG Committee on Finance met to approve the student-funded budget for the 2006-07 academic year. As reported by The Daily Reveille, SG President Chris Odinet allocated $2,400 within the budget to continue servicing four BlackBerries left over from former SG President Michelle Gieg’s purchase of five BlackBerries costing $300 a piece.
Much like SG’s recent escapades involving electronic clicker use in its voting system and its nationally and globally-focused resolutions condemning oppression of gay-marriage rights and Iran’s attempts to develop nuclear weapons, the powers that be have decided they just can’t get by in the high-stakes game of university politics by simply using the same electronic means of communication as us commoners.
As stated in The Daily Reveille’s front page article about this issue, Crawford Leavoy, SG interim executive assistant, said BlackBerries are essential for optimum SG efficiency.
As I sit here typing, wracking my brain for an answer to that age-old question – Why? – I cannot come up with a reason why BlackBerries are “essential” to an efficiently-run Student Government.
What hard-pressing issues are of such vital importance that they absolutely must be addressed immediately? Students have already seen their ever-increasing student fees go towards paying for new computer labs and kiosks across campus. There is no reason members of SG cannot take a few minutes out of their hectic, work-a-day lives to duck into Coates Hall or Middleton Library to check their e-mail. Students should not have to fund SG’s need for convenience. Allocating funds should focus on things of necessity and real importance – such as giving more funding to college councils and, thus, more student-oriented programs.
I ask the Senate to amend the budget Wednesday and reallocate this $2,400-BlackBerry expense to give more funds to college councils – which could see their budget-funded percentage drop from 15 percent to 10 percent.
Pointless funding which serves no real purpose and in no way benefits the constituents is one of the major downfalls – and tenets – of modern politics; just look at the Bush administration.
Speaker of the Senate Evan Bergeron said during last night’s meeting that not supporting the BlackBerry expense would be tantamount to “clipping our wings.”
Sometimes even the mightiest of birds must come back down to Earth.
 
Dennis is a theatre senior. Contact
him at [email protected]