I never had anything personal against John Brady.Sure, his bland “paint peeling off the wall” offensive strategy was a bit excruciating to endure. And maybe his patented “Brady Ball” style didn’t exactly generate the level of excitement and enthusiasm from students and fans we would’ve liked.Say what you will about the former headman’s comportment. At least his offensive strategy wasn’t systematically endangering our health.Trent Johnson, on the other hand, has evidently made it his priority to destroy our student body.Literally.During the past few years, the Raising Cane’s Challenge has become a staple of LSU basketball.The rules are simple: If LSU exceeds the pre-ordained mark — whether it be a point total like 75 points or a shooting mark like seven total threes — LSU students can win free food from Raising Cane’s.During Brady’s tenure, these challenges were rarely met because of the more anemic offensive stratagem of the previous coaching staff.But this season has been a completely different story.During LSU’s current seven game SEC winning streak, the team has averaged more than 81 points per game.Meanwhile, the Tigers’ defense has only given up 65 points per game.But it’s not the defensive side of the ball that has me concerned. LSU’s offense has been far too dynamic lately. As a result, student health is officially on high alert.Raising Cane’s fat-drenched, grease-enhanced fast food deliberately kills healthy bodies.A single Raising Cane’s chicken finger accounts for about 127 calories.A standard Box combo at Canes – minus a drink – carries a hefty toll of more than 1,200 calories. The daily amount recommended for stable health, according to Human Health, is only about 2,000 calories.Louisiana adults weigh in at the third-most obese in the nation, according to the Center for Disease Control. More 30 percent of our residents over age 21 suffer from obesity, which often begins during college years when students are more prone to develop unhealthy eating habits.But it’s not just Johnson that’s in on this whole scheme.Starting last spring, Raising Cane’s introduced LSU football coach Les Miles as one of their leading spokesmen. His patented voice has since become a trademark for grease-guzzling gurus and calorie-clobbering aficionados, alike.Because of their interactive role in LSU activities, Raising Cane’s has become one of the most popular food destinations for students. But if we want to protect student health and vitality, there is still time to counteract this growing trend by raising awareness and taking action.There’s many ways you can contribute to the cause by taking part in such efforts as “Call A Skinny Girl Fat Day” and “Make a Guy Insecure About His Weight Week.”But, more than anything, we need to ensure Coach Johnson and the Tigers don’t keep scoring at unprecedented rates. The more the Tigers reach the Cane’s challenge, the more likely we’ll herd back to Raising Cane’s.As college students, money is rarely an accessible commodity. So whenever there’s a chance to stuff some free meat in our mouths, we’re bound to take advantage of it. No one cares if the food is destined to give us cardiovascular dysfunction and flapping love handles.But that doesn’t ameliorate the fact Raising Cane’s chicken fingers are as threatening to student health as Islamic extremists are to domestic security.Cane’s chicken fingers are addictively delicious and inevitably hazardous. It’s like a drug. And according to Mr. Mackey from South Park, “Drugs are bad.”So, for the love of God, Tigers:Stop feeding the ball underneath to Tasmin Mitchell.Stop setting up open threes for Bo Spencer.Stop throwing the ball up to Chris Johnson.And, for Allah’s sake, keep the ball as far away from Marcus Thorton as humanly possible.The more points our team puts on the board, the more girth we add to our waistline. And the last thing this campus needs is more fat sorority girls.There’s something much more important at stake than winning a few games and maybe even an SEC title: The health of our students.Unfortunately, it looks as though there’s no way we can possibly alter this trend. Success, it seems, is inevitable. And the point barrage will only continue.But you can’t keep the wool pulled over our eyes any longer, Trent. This isn’t Stanford. We aren’t stupid.So maybe it’s time we brought back sloppy Brady Ball.There’s plenty of ways you can do this, coach.You can start by taking a hike on the Oregon Trail.I’m pretty sure Ben Voogd is still available.——Contact Scott Burns at [email protected]