‘Twas the last days of finals, and all through the townNot a student was stirring — not even a sound.Winter break is fast approaching, so now is the timeTo review the major highlights from the fall of ’09. There was plenty of drama this past football season.At times fans were speechless — for pretty good reason.Like when Tolliver reeled in a Hail Mary rocket,But with one second left, Les cried out, “Clock it, clock it!”Or when Peterson picked off a McElroy pass,And the review booth officials screwed us all in the ass.Often times Crowton’s offense looked a bit out of whack.His top play this season was the quarterback sack.But on the defensive side, there was a bit of reliefThanks to the “Dreadlocks of Doom” and a coach they call “Chief.”In a shocking development, the Saints are 12 and 0,And with Sean Payton’s offense, they’ve put on quite a show.Thanks to Colston and Devery and Shockey and Bell,Things are starting to freeze over the valleys of hell.With Greg Williams’ defense, the old Dome Patrol is back,And all the bandwagon haters are sporting their old gold and black.After a full year in office, Obama still can’t find his niche,Unemployment is soaring and we’re still China’s “bitch.”We blew trillions of dollars, but who cares? That’s OK —I’m sure our next generation will be happy to pay.The health care debate took up nearly every news channel —There were talks of abortion and even a death panel.But it’s certain the coverage will die off real soon —All it takes is one boy in a silver balloon.There was plenty tea-bagging going down in the South,Because if you try to raise taxes, you’ll get nuts in your mouth.Sarah Palin left her job, but don’t call her a quitter.She just needed more time for Facebook and Twitter.She even wrote a novel — a surprise, I’ll concede.It’s not bad for a hockey mom who can’t even read.Al Gore wrote a book, too, which pleased all his ‘green’ folks.In breaking global warming news — This just in: it’s a hoax.The celebrity news is almost the same as before:Kanye West is a douche, and Carrie Prejean’s a whore.Tiger Woods might well be the best golfer alive,But whether he’s on the course or off, the guy still cannot drive.The King of Pop’s sudden death stirred up heartache and grief,But now small boys everywhere can sigh in relief.Billy Mays’ tragic passing was a sad story to tell.Now he’s selling stingray insurance to Steve Irwin in hell.Here on campus, quite frankly, there wasn’t much new —Just some more budget cuts, and this thing called swine flu.But a new year is approaching, so let’s hope for the best.Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good…(spike)—–Contact Scott Burns at [email protected] Burns is a 20-year-old economics and history junior from Baton Rouge. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_sburns.