There’s one event in my now four years of working in the media that I’ve eschewed at all costs, the one day a year that I’ve made a point to mark in the calendar as “beach vacation.”No, I’m not talking about covering a Student Government meeting because that I would never attend.That faithful day I’m talking about is LSU’s Football Media Day, the biggest media frenzy madhouse of the year.Now, my mother always taught me not to hate something until you try it. I gave it a try, and I found out she was right. I should have given it a chance earlier on.We got to talk to Zach Lee for the only time ever, and we got to hear (insert adjective of your choice here) answers from Les Miles (“We want to play well, and we want to play well fast”).There were good times for all to be had.But for the first time since I started this job, I felt bad for the players.They are forced to sit by position in a line down both sides of LSU’s indoor field for more than an hour while the media has a field day.Surprisingly enough, the players really don’t mind it — not even the fifth-year seniors.”It’s not all that bad,” said senior cornerback Jai Eugene. “We aren’t practicing right now, so we get to relax.”Some players switch chairs and sit in the wrong place in line where media can’t find them, some butt in on another player’s interviews and some, like senior offensive tackle Joseph Barksdale, make signs.Barksdale’s sign reads “C’mon son” in big, bold permanent marker. Any time his fellow linemen said something he felt needed to be ridiculed, he simply held up the sign.That got me to thinking, maybe it’s the media that Barksdale needs to hold that sign up to, not his teammates.You see, we ask some pretty stupid questions (“Jarrett Lee, what other position on the field would you want to play besides quarterback?”).To blend in with the crowd, I took it upon myself to ask the more pressing questions about the upcoming season.”So, senior linebacker Kelvin Sheppard, who has the better facial hair, you or sophomore wide receiver Russell Shepard?””Oh, I definitely have the better facial hair. But Russell is crazy. He would shave his hair one day to a mohawk, shave his facial hair to a mustache, he just does whatever.””And junior cornerback Patrick Peterson, what was up with that now-famous windmill arm wave during Chad Jones’ punt return against Mississippi State last year?””I remember that like it was yesterday. When they punted off the ball, and Chad caught it at the three yard line, I was like, ‘Chad, what are you doing?’ He broke two or three tackles, and I saw him coming my way. We had two key blocks, and I was just telling Chad to follow me into the end zone. But to be honest with you, I have no idea where [the windmill wave] came from. It must have been the baseball coach in me. You got to come home.”That’s good information, but I felt like I needed a little more. I needed to hear something exciting that’s bound to happen this season.So I found junior long snapper Joey Crappell sitting around with his fellow special teams players, none of whom were being bothered by the media.”Well, Joey, what would you do if you ever scored a touchdown?””If there were no penalty flags, I would jump up in the stands, take off my shoulder pads and helmet and just let in sink in for a minute or two. Then I would jump back out and do a few dances before I went to the sideline.”Never mind. Maybe it’s not the media after all that needs the sign. It is the players.C’mon son.
 
 
 
—-Contact Andy Schwehm at [email protected]