Pop superstar and occult Illuminati leader, Beyonce, performed her new single “Formation” live for the first time at Sunday’s Super Bowl Halftime Show. British rock band, Coldplay, and prominent Bar Mitzvah performer, Bruno Mars, opened for Beyonce’s set.
The performance generated controversy as millions of white people realized its true nature. “Formation” and its video reference the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality and ultimately the downfall of white civilization.
To further emphasize the political statement, Beyonce had her backup dancers dress up as Black Panther members and attack white suburban moms.
“I was just boppin’ along to the song because Beyonce was singing about hot sauce,” local resident, Bertha Smith, said about the performance. “Then all of a sudden, I realized she was singing about black people mattering. It offends me to think we live in a country where a black woman is willing to tell other black people they matter.”
Following the controversy, Beyonce addressed the concerns of the offended white people.
“Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no,” Beyonce sang in similar fashion to her hit, “Crazy in Love.”
Coldplay frontman and closeted homosexual, Chris Martin, also commented on the performance’s controversy.
“I’m just grateful Bey is taking the heat away from the statement we made about LGBT rights,” Martin said. “We were seriously trying to advance the homosexual agenda and we were able to succeed.”
Bruno Mars was unavailable to comment due to a series of Bar Mitzvah performances. His representative issued a statement on his behalf.
“[Mars] is grateful Beyonce allowed him to open up for her,” his representative said. “He’s also grateful to get some much needed street cred with the black community. As a person of mixed race, Bruno has had difficulty with crossing over to black audiences.”
To protest Beyonce’s performance, thousands of white people will gather outside of the NFL’s New York headquarters this Tuesday to remind the world that black lives actually do not matter.
Protest organizer, Suzie Doe, said the protest was necessary to ensure white dominance in American society.
“Listen, you just can’t have a black person go on TV and make a statement like that to such scandalous choreography,” Doe said. “Black people aren’t supposed to make political statements because they don’t have opinions. They are supposed to be great dancers or basketball stars. Everyone knows that.”
Beyonce is expected to crash the protest with a surprise performance. Music streaming service, Tidal, will exclusively livestream the performance in efforts to make people care about its existence. Experts, however, believe the performance will be futile because, as demonstrated through centuries of sociological studies, black lives do not matter.
John Gavin Harp is a 20-year-old mass communication junior from St. Francisville, Louisiana.