Everyone around us — our peers, teachers, parents and the media — teach us gender roles and expectations every day, and we usually take them for granted. From how we dress to what we think, we generally do not realize how societal beliefs have detrimental effects on us. We know how gender roles negatively affect women and result in unemployment, lower pay than men, domestic violence and even death, but men are not always the beneficiaries of gender roles. In fact, masculinity itself can be detrimental to men’s lives.
One of the more obvious examples of how masculinity hurts men is the fear of becoming a victim of a crime committed by women because they can be ridiculed for letting women take advantage of them. Their fear is realistic because masculinity tells us that men are not supposed to behave and believe in anything considered to be “lady-like.” Men are supposed to be strong, muscular, deep-voiced, independent, attractive and not associated with anything that is feminine.
Therefore, people are supposed to ridicule me if they find out my phone is pink or see me wearing a pink shirt.
Men can be accused of being gay because of any lifestyle choice or action that has feminine associations. A few years ago, one of my classmates called his football teammate gay because he wore compression gear for practices. Today, many athletes and gym-goers wear these regularly if not every day.
Some of my classmates called me gay in elementary school because I was not stereotypically masculine. I was not as muscular then as I am now.
These examples may seem unimportant, but the ideals of masculinity can contribute to higher rates of suicide. Men are 3.5 times more likely to commit suicide than women, even though women are more likely to express suicidal thoughts. Also, men are far more likely to seek mental help than women. Men are less likely to express their emotions and seek help early on because men are not supposed to have issues and seek help according to the ideals of masculinity. Therefore, men are more likely to commit suicide because there is not enough intervention.
Masculinity is not only about the color of our clothing or wearing compression gear. It is a serious issue that contributes to mental health issues and increased rates of suicide. Men are taught they are not supposed to face any problems, so they do not seek help even in the worst situation. Even though our society continues to progress, especially with the passages of civil rights acts and court rulings to promote women’s rights, we can do better because your laughter at a man wearing a pink shirt can be lethal.
Kevin Yau is a 20-year-old sociology senior from New Orleans, Louisiana.