It’s that time again, ladies and gentlemen, this is your last Cuff of the semester.
I know how much you will miss my little attempts at humor, but I’ll be back in a month.
Cry. Cry. Sob. Sob. Now that the goodbye crap is out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.
I’ve been cooking up something special for y’all in the form of really bad songwriting.
The first is entitled “Deck the Fall.”
Bought my Mace the fourth of August
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Roommate died of West Nile virus
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Saw the snipers eat at Denny’s
Fa-la-la, Fa-la-la, La-la-la
Emmert’s raise costs TAF some pennies.
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la
This next tune is called “Football Smells.”
“Football smells. Football smells. Clausen really bites.
New Year’s day is gonna suck beneath the Dallas lights. Hey!
Football smells. Football smells. We blew the f-in’ game!
Now we’re in the Cotton Bowl, ain’t it a cryin’ shame.”
The final tune is titled, “Let me Go! Let Me Go! Let Me Go!”
“Oh the finals week is blowing,
and my booksack’s overflowing.
But, since the bar will take my dough,
Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!
And when they turn on the ugly lights,
How I’d hate to drive home, ’cause I’ll swerve.
But, if you get into a fight,
I’ll kick your punkass to the curb!
Now the Cuff is sadly ending,
But you’ll keep on sending
E-mails to your favorite ho,
Let me go! Let me go Let me go!
I hope you enjoyed that bit of cheer.
Finally, I’ve seen a couple of rounds of cool folks leave this paper and watching them go gets harder every time.
“Nanner,” “Larleen,” “K-Dawg,” Ronnie “the chatterbox” Richard, Dave “Live Bands” Bommarito, Jeff “Hammer time” Kurtz, Kevin “Student Media slut” Gaddis, Jr. and Jeff “the tall man” Rodel can crash on The Reveille couch anytime.
Happy holidays, folks.