Suddenly it dawned on me that, while I have spent the better part of the semester concentrating on people in relationships, I have overlooked the masses – singles.
Being single is in fact a stage in a relationship. To face the cruelties of life without a specific mate to support you is an act many are not willing to brave. You watch as many fall into the ancient cliché of falling in and out of love in repeated cycles, remaining their rock as the “strong friend” who’s too “independent and mature” for the men or women their age.
You might spend many nights wishing you had someone to turn to. You admire and wish you had the extra apartment or dorm to sleep in, or the dependable and trustworthy person to share your secrets with as you vent about your fifth test of the week. But, perhaps, have you ever wondered, “is the grass always greener on the other side?”
While most spend the better part of their lives fighting and losing their identities in their relationships, you spend your time establishing yourself as an independent, ambitious individual. Sound like a quote out of an Oprah help book? Take this scenario if the above statement sounds like a broken record resonating in your head.
Scenario #1: The Bar Scene. After spending time primping for a night out in the ole “Red Stick,” you finally arrive at your desired location and begin to relax. About an hour into the evening special you realize you have not seen your companion since you arrived and begin to worry about their safety. You sacrifice your opportune position at the counter to search for your vanished friend only to discover them outside in the parking lot in a heated discussion with their beloved.
Jealousy of the mate left at home has set in and guilt is the game that has begun. You find yourself in a familiar situation of constantly repeating to your friend that they are “better than this,” and shouldn’t “worry about what (fill in the blank) has to say” over and over as you attempt to wheedle the cell phone out of their hand. After realizing the night will not get much better, you give in and call it a night. You may end the night alone, but at least you’ve ended it with your dignity.
The above situation, I am certain, is familiar to many individuals who have attempted to break their friends away from the tentacles of their beloved and, like many before, surrendered to the identity loss their friend has begun to suffer. So I would like to praise all those who have rejected this immature cliché of what many believe falling in love is supposed to be.
Life is much more interesting as the observer, and when you finally do fall in love, you will know exactly what not to do in order to keep your relationship alive.