Although most couples wish to remain together in good times and in bad, it is inevitable that for some this “forever” is not always in their future. Each person has their own justifications as to why their blissful forever ends but I have observed that most breakups follow along the lines of: infidelity, miscommunication and change. Whether this change is for the better or worse is relative but nonetheless change is an inescapable force in our lives.
But sometimes we are ignorant to this fact and we attempt to stop the different turns that our lives may take. Whether this change be physical, mental or emotional, we are stubborn creatures who sometimes believe that fate is a flexible and rational entity that can be formed and reasoned with to fit the future that suits our needs. With this mindset, some couples who may be headed for two different directions in life will sometimes begin changing who they are in order to remain with the one they love.
The alterations of our lifestyles in accordance to a relationship are not always negative; change can be a positive and beneficial force in our lives. For someone who was never able to express any sort of emotion in their lives finds themselves caring for another. Their expression of love and compassion for one may spill over into other daily relationships, therefore making their life and possibly those around them easier. And for who’ve had the chance to experience this “Ebeneezer Scrooge Syndrome” in action at their workplace will attest that changing yourself for someone else is not always a bad thing.
But sometimes this change in our lives will throw us off course, because of being creatures of habit. If at one time you received great amounts of physical satisfaction in your relationship and suddenly your partner has turned cold, you may find this a difficult change to grasp. “The Un-Newlywed Syndrome” has definitely been an unwavering fate of many long-time relationship participants and many have found it imperative to modify this syndrome into newlywed bliss once again.
Change does not always occur on the inside but there are times that we modify our looks in order to please another. This I have found to be the most upsetting of all. It pains me to see my peers alter their God-given beauty in order to please their mate. Forming yourself or another into what you believe to be the “perfect mate” is definitely a turn in the wrong direction; I promise there is someone out there who fits the description … keep looking.
Although we may allow our ambition, ego or insecurities to take precedence in our relationship we have to accept that these help make up the person we are to be. Altering them in compliance to a mate’s wishes is not something which will benefit you in the long run. Accept your fate and allow the road to take you where it may. Hopefully, your fate is the same as your beloved
The Morning After
October 8, 2003