Titles. The usual one or two word heading that describes a certain aspect about our lives. Whether giving authority or designating a position, ultimately all titles come to one conclusion … setting boundaries. It’s where the lines are drawn in regards to a title that is ambiguous and vague, especially when you are attempting to “title” or “label” your specific status with a particular person.
Many have found the ancient method of labeling oneself as a cliché and outdated ritual that only those too insecure and unstable to stand on their own participate in. The most modern among the trends in the relationship world is to remain in the ambiguous and undefined state of dating as long as possible. Titles are binding, devious nuisances that attempt to enslave those within their reach … stay away. Before mankind realized how enslaving labels were, our ancestors participated in a precise and distinct outline in which the “dating method” was specifically labeled and clear. To first show interest, then the male called the female under the influence of nothing but sincere attraction, followed by a first date and ultimately many more, defining the two individuals as a couple.
No longer is this simple method of attraction-plus-dating-equals-couple formula followed. Today the more complicated and unclear the status of the relationship, the more in vogue you and your current mate shall be. There are currently many different levels of dating that one must follow in order to achieve the “security” of their mate’s affection, never the title. I have assembled an array of examples in which titles are apparently unnecessary and inappropriate in order to secure the current status of the relationship.
Example One: After many encounters with the hormones and physical aspects of one’s mate, you are finding that the more you increment emotion into your relationship the forther he/she pulls away. After confronting your comrade with your concerns, he/she quickly reassures you that they have problems with trust and are in the process of hopefully overcoming their dilemma. Your affection toward them is helping them take a step forward in the right direction, as they graciously take your hand and thank you before proceeding to the bedroom for your nightly rituals. Titles are clearly unnecessary in this relationship. Working out your “trust” issues should definitely be the main concern between these two lovebirds.
Example Two: Anyone who has had to stretch their love across many states, counties and even continents can attest that definition is not priority in a relationship. Besides a cell phone the two find it unnecessary to label their affection for one another due to the level of sacrifice, which must follow when in an established relationship. It makes complete sense that a new atmosphere indicates complete freedom from one’s past, and for the one left behind … making sure that they adjust to their new atmosphere without you is absolutely what a “friend” would do. The idea that when you two are physically together once again nothing else matters is completely healthy and unselfish. The priority in your relationship is not a title but to make sure your distant mate is meeting new people and adhering to their new lifestyle.
Example Three: After spending multiple years in a highly intense and serious relationship (with titles), you and your former mate decide it would be best to continue on throughout life separately. Although you never establish what you are going to remain as, and many “unplanned” nights of passion occur, your former lover proceeds into another relationship. Because of your lack of definition you are unable to justify your jealousy and anger with your former mate, except with the slight possibility that you never allowed yourself to extinguish the passion for him or her and now you realize that the flame is still very well lit in your heart. But alas, your necessity for definition and boundaries were inappropriate between you two, you were always on the same page as the other.
It is extremely evident that each individual in these positions is completely happy and fulfilled in concerning their needless use of a title.
Although titles may be words which define our status and position with others, and it is how you feel about a person which ultimately speaks the most, perhaps a little definition can go a long way when it concerns your happiness.