On the road to fulfillment, many of us explore different avenues, with one of them being promiscuity.
Society has taught some that freedom and sexual liberation go hand in hand — that feeling totally in tune with oneself means hopping between sexual partners to find “what we like,” and to enjoy the pleasures different partners can provide. This pushes sex as a pleasure mechanism instead of a symbolic representation of connection.
You may think, “I’ve had great one-time sex with X person,” but that was cheap sex, built upon shallow representations of connection.
It wasn’t fueled by passion built upon commitment, love and genuine care. Instead, it was likely a substance-fueled squirrel fight, with passion emanating from the idea that there are no strings attached.
Yes, sex is supposed to bring you pleasure, but it’s supposed to bring you the type of pleasure that comes with a level of responsibility and care — beyond the risks of pregnancy.
As you’re engaging in a mutual, consensual act of passion, there should be an implied idea that, beyond sex, you care about one another. That level of responsibility means knowing you’re responsible for each other’s satisfaction, which leads to sexual communication and patience.
You should not want to sleep around because a girl is hot or a guy’s junk looks great in gray sweatpants.
It’s those types of illusions that distract us and ruin our ability to detect factors that are unappealing — such as personality traits, bad habits and low emotional intelligence. These are traits that can hurt us or drag us down if left undetected. And you’re not going to notice them if your eyes are glued to her jeans or his biceps.
Remember, promiscuity comes at the expense of your future self. Part of loving yourself is saving yourself for someone who genuinely cares about you.
This has nothing to do with how many times you’ve engaged in sexual relations, but how easily you’ve given yourself to another because you felt lonely, wanted approval or thought they’d make you feel better about yourself.
Accessibility goes hand in hand with value. Value yourself enough to not let just anyone have access to your body. The more accessible you are, the more people will abuse that accessibility, treating you like you have less value.
Respecting yourself makes it much easier for the world to respect you and your boundaries. Your desirability will increase, and you’ll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff with greater ease.
Again, this has nothing to do with how many sexual partners you’ve had. It’s about how easily you’ve given up your body to a quick flirt, a slick compliment or someone’s status or appeal.
Sex should come after you’ve realized that your lover is interested in you as a person. They listen to your rants, they care about your dreams and they want the best for you as a person. No relationship is needed for that.
Mohammad Tantawi is a 24-year-old mass communication senior from Smyrna, Tenn.
