In early April, a leaked email from a University of Maryland Delta Gamma executive board member outed not just the chapter, but the entire Internet, as a cesspool of grotesque cattiness.
As if we didn’t know this already, right?
If you have access to the Internet (and possibly a friend or two whose perception of relevant humor is entirely run by Buzzfeed), you’ve seen this email.
You know that junior Rebecca Martinson went absolutely nuts on her sorority sisters for a list of sins committed during Greek Week, like “LITERALLY being so f—ing AWKWARD” and cheering for the opposing team at sports events, among other things.
Whether Greek life is accurately depicted by emails like this or by blogs about Greeks that apparently matter at LSU, ’Bama and elsewhere, the way popular culture responded can only be described as high school. Or even middle school.
The email circulates again and again through the dark bowels of the Internet. The kids by their lockers giggle hysterically, whispering choice phrases under their breaths to make their friends crack up during the geography lesson.
Teachers warn the younger ones that the Internet is watching you when you’re sleeping, and it knows when you’re emailing insults, just like modern Santa Claus.
Whole cafeterias crow at the news of Martinson’s resignation, and even more so when her incredibly racist, off-color Twitter was uncovered.
Seriously though, most of the reactions have been an odd mixture of congratulatory and gawking, some praising her inventive use of expletives. Every website covering the debacle — and there have been many — has progressively become so tongue-in-cheek that I’m worried it may never be dislodged.
To channel the deranged email in question: “‘But [Samantha]!’ you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this …” No. Stop.
When you continually call attention to this kind of ridiculous behavior by reposting and reading aloud at parties or recess, you’re participating in it. You’re part of the problem.
We understand, you tween drama queens. Freakouts are funny. But this viral trend, with the Internet jeering from the bleachers at Martinson and her ilk, makes us look more juvenile than the actual offender.
Samantha Bares is a 19-year-old English sophomore from Erath, La.
