Far too often, I hear students talk about how they just do not care about LSU, or how our beloved campus was no more than their safety school. What I more frequently hear is the chatter of those who claim to despise LSU football and our Athletic Department in
general.
It’s shameful and disgusting.
There is a serious dearth of pride in a growing number of students on campus and this plague of wanton apathy needs to be stamped out before it spreads.
I call on LSU President F. King Alexander, the Faculty Senate and Student Government to enact measures that will bolster student pride posthaste.
Now, as a fanatic LSU fan, I have a few ideas as to what the powers could do to convert the unbelievers in LSU’s primacy.
Possibly the easiest one would be a weekly spirit day, compulsory of course.
On Wednesdays, we’d wear purple. Or gold. Or anything that is a combination of the two, so long as it is LSU themed and students wear it with gusto. I’m talking purple slacks, gentlemen, even if you are not Greek.
Another measure the University could enact is creating a class that teaches naturally passive students how to heckle properly. Tiger fans, you have no idea how many people I saw on Saturday that, despite being adorned in purple and gold, did not participate in yelling “Tiger bait!” at passing Florida fans. It was an affront to LSU
tradition.
We need every voice on campus committed to demeaning, insulting and belittling any other team that sets foot in Baton Rouge.
Now, on the subject of our athletics, we should consider ourselves blessed that we have an awesome mascot. So many teams out there have downright embarrassing ones, like bulldogs or horned frogs. Even here in the Southeastern Conference – the Pantheon of college football – we have war eagles, protists that turn water red and rebel bears.
LSU has an apex predator that will eat your face off if he had half the chance.
Our beloved feline, Mike VI, spends his days in the serene
seclusion of his habitat, splitting his time between lounging in the sunlight and going into his pond for a dip.
Y’all, we have a 600 pound jungle cat; I think we can make better use of him than that. I propose that on game days, we commission a group of students to seek out and capture the opposing team’s mascot, if applicable, and bring it back to Death Valley, where our magnificent coliseum would finally earn its name.
Mike VI and this unsuspecting critter would then be released onto the field, and students would get to enjoy a medley of carnage unlike any ever seen in Death Valley.
This blood bath would be a clear lesson in LSU’s supremacy, and would get even the most lethargic student riled up for a day of tearing the other team a new one.
If all else fails, the University could take drastic measures. We all know that there are no groups more radical than religious fanatics. LSU could cash in on the zealotry and forcibly coerce students to participate in a biweekly prostration before Mike’s statue, where we would beg his mercy before exams and game days and beg for all things Alabama to go awry.
Or, these lethargic and dispirited students could step up their game and none of these measures would be necessary. There is plenty to be proud of here. LSU is a tier 1 academic school with one of the most elite athletic programs in the NCAA.
You have to love purple before you can live gold.
Ryan McGehee is a 20-year-old political science, history and international studies junior from Zachary.