Whatever we wear, wherever we go, yes means yes and no means no.
On Tuesday, Slate writer Emily Yoffe published an article titled “College Women: Stop Getting Drunk.” The article talks about sexual assault crimes and college students’ binge drinking habits with the constant underlying message that it’s on the woman to protect herself, and that she’s partially to blame for any negative outcomes as a result of drinking.
The article made me think of a booth I saw at LSU’s “Tiger Games” two weeks ago. One of the games was about sexual assault awareness, with questions and answers educating the audience about this grave issue.
It was very interesting, and the woman that talked to my friend and me was nice and knowledgeable about the subject. Once we had finished playing the game and claimed our prizes, she told us about a sexual assault self defense class that would be the following week and urged us to come.
Although her motives and the defense class were both good, I left the booth feeling upset with the reality of being a woman and angry at the current state of rape culture.
We live in a world where people will look for any excuse to blame a victim of sexual assault for the crime that was committed against them. If the victim was drinking, wearing revealing clothing, acting a certain way or in a bad place at a bad time, they were “asking for it.”
There’s a powerful photo on the internet of a teenage girl in an everyday outfit of jeans and a t-shirt with her bangs in her face holding a sign saying “This is what I was wearing when he raped me. Tell me I asked for it, I dare you.”
The truth about rape is that it happens to people regardless of what they’re wearing. It’s not about being pretty, it’s not about lust, and it’s not about sex appeal.
Rape is about control.
I’ll say this once and I sincerely hope everyone who reads it can comprehend it — victims of sexual assault are never, ever, ever at fault.
The blame for the crime lies solely on the rapist.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, 9 out of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003. From the same statistics, 3 percent of American men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. 15 percent of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12. And the most shocking of all — only 3 out of every 100 rapists will spend even a day in jail.
Young girls are being told very early how they need to act and dress in order to avoid being raped. Women spend their time in the public sphere consciously or subconsciously protecting themselves against the possibility of sexual assault.
Yet no one is teaching and telling people not to rape.
Parents need to tell their children from an early age about consent and respect. Teachers in elementary and middle school need to have extensive courses on it. In high school, there should be a school-wide talk every year with each grade about consent, sexual respect, protection and how rape is absolutely disgusting and wrong and how the victim is never at fault. The taboo should be shifted from the victims to the rapists.
If everyone started taking this preventative approach to stopping potential rapists rather than telling potential victims how to try to protect themselves, imagine the effect it would have.
Rather than articles telling college women to stop getting drunk, articles need to tell men to stop raping.
Until people’s mindsets change about this epidemic of sexual assault and until rapists are held accountable, there will be no justice for the victims.