Dirty hipster, pedo, Ron Jeremy look-alike, cowboy— all words used to describe men who make the brave decision to forego shaving and don what some may describe as the “hirsute appendage of the upper lip.”
As a former clean-shaven man, I used to shun the mustache, mostly because of the derisive comments it would inspire, even among close friends, and because for a time my attempts at any facial hair were horribly pathetic. Having worn a mustache for several months now, I can say with certainty that no man should ever shy away from growing one and that the mustache should come back into widespread style.
I last shaved my upper lip on Christmas Eve, last year. Now that I am a yearly Civil War re-enactor at the Battle of Port Hudson, I decided I was not going to be subject to any “baby face” comments this year. Knowing fully well that the hair on my cheeks comes in thin — and quite frankly, looks ghastly — I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to grow a mustache with a detached chin beard and soul patch.
Think King Charles I,
Vladimir Lenin, Captain Jack Sparrow or any stereotypical cartoon villain, and you’ll get an idea of what I’m talking about.
Thus began the long journey toward a more rugged face.
Initially, my father joined me in my quest for a ‘stache, but sadly, after slight ridicule from my mother, he shaved it off. The pain I felt after having to cut a corner off of his man card is indescribable.
The man is a former U.S. Marine and Vietnam veteran, so it was admittedly a small slice.
Now I have to make a
disclaimer for anyone about to embark on growing a mustache: the first five weeks or so will be absolute hell. When I was in this early development stage, I was always asked the oh-so-annoying question, “Are you trying to grow a mustache?”
No, I just forgot to shave my upper lip every single day.
An unobservant individual told me once that I had “some dirt on my face.” Thanks for that, by the way.
This is where you will receive a majority of the hate that is bound to come your way. I say disregard your naysayers. In fact, continue growing your mustache just to spite them; make it a symbol of your defiance of the shaven status quo.
Once you make it past this crucible, you should have the makings of a set of glorious whiskers. Obviously you won’t be impersonating Otto von Bismarck or Mark Twain for a while, but the foundations will be there.
For me, this point marked a sharp drop off in insults and jokes at my expense.
To this day, I’ve only gotten negative comments from two people once I crossed this veritable Rubicon, one of whom is a woman I was involved with at one point. The other is my dear older sister, who to this day can’t decide if I look more like Colonel Sanders or Zorro, which, unbeknownst to her, I take as a compliment in the case of The Colonel.
The reenactment came and went, and I was bombarded with queries as to whether I planned on shaving. I can proudly say no, Mom, I will not.
So I say to any man (or woman) thinking of growing a mustache: go for it. Aside from growing a full beard, joining the military, drinking whiskey, woodworking or killing your own food, it’s one of the manliest things you can do.
Just don’t style it as a toothbrush mustache, even if you’re a big Charlie Chaplin fan.
Ryan McGehee is a 21-year-old political science, history, and international studies senior from Zachary, La.
Mustaches are a positive symbol of masculinity
April 10, 2014