Do you like being stranded? Being severely limited in terms of job opportunities? Being a second-rate citizen?
Then I have the perfect thing for you — not having a vehicle!
You can save your time trying. Just go ahead and knock this. Seriously, you don’t need to learn this the hard way.
I had a car from my senior year in high school to my junior year in college. Those were the simple days. I knew that regardless of how late I was going to be to wherever I was going, I had the opportunity to get there in time. Because, as I always say in response to my own failures, it most certainly is the thought that counts.
But then, due to an absolutely conscious decision that I now refuse to believe was my own fault, I didn’t have a car. Immobilized in the blink of an eye. Left in the dust. Stuck in a cliché.
When you don’t have a vehicle, you’d better get used to the bus system, which, as you probably Sometimes. Realistically though, I know, I think is phenomenal. But when you’ve been on campus 40 minutes after getting out of your late class, that doesn’t seem to mat- ter much anymore. There are only so many times you can count the number of pages you’re supposed to study when you get home (because of course it would just be totally unreasonable to read and sit at a bus stop at the same time) before you memorize it.
Another problem is: As humans, every once in a while we require food. Without a car, you typically have about two or three options at which to obtain this annoying necessity.
And trust me, even Chinese food gets old after the 700th time.
And finally, people might like you, but you’ll quickly find out they don’t like you enough to drive 5 miles to pick you up. Hope you like being alone on a Friday night, be- cause there’s a good chance you’ll be doing a lot of it.
Alright, just to be fair and pedantic, I’ll point out that there are a few advantages to not driving:
1. There is no such thing as “being pulled over” in my life.
2. I now get to text while moving 50 miles per hour down the road.
usually can’t afford to take my hand off whatever you call that thing people hold on to on buses for much longer than a millisecond unless I’m particularly willing to fall on some- one that day.
3. Not only do I get to use the traffic excuse for being late to things; I can even say that TransLoc was malfunctioning and caused me to miss the last bus for 20 minutes.
4. If I ever do happen to be in a wreck, it won’t be my fault. Because we all know that the only thing worse than crippling injury is even the slightest shred of responsibility.
5. I’m never the designated driver anywhere I go. That’s not to say I’ve forgotten how to drive, but I can always rattle off, “No dude, it’s like riding a bike. If you don’t use it, you lose it,” and then grab a beer before they have the chance to question my paraphrasing of the saying.
Jokes and optimism aside, you get the point: Not having a car is dumb and no one should ever do it if given a choice in the matter.
But I’m done complaining here.
Ryan Monk is a 21-year-old chemi- cal engineering senior from Lake Charles, Louisiana. You can reach him on Twitter @RyanMonkTDR.