American politicians are by far some of the biggest prima donnas, creeps and veritable man-children on the face of the planet. Be it a symptom of the 24-hour news cycle or the celebrity status we afford them, modern politicians can be trusted to give us a hilarious scandal or sound byte with the regularity that the Memorial Tower’s bell tolls.
Although American politics often make for a cheap laugh and cannon fodder for late-night pundits, it has grown far too petty and undermines the legitimacy of American governance as a whole. We need candidates that take themselves and their jobs seriously.
If you were to ask me the shortest joke I know, I’d say, Louisiana politics. The fact that there is a convicted felon running for a congressional seat who will likely make it to a runoff sums that up fairly well. 
However, there are those brief, glimmering moments when another state trumps us in the laughable politics department.
Enter Florida. Aside from Illinois, it’s the only other state in the Union that can consistently match or trump Louisiana in terms of narcissistic and scandalous politicians, and boy, did that shine through last Wednesday night.
The majority of Americans were expecting a simple gubernatorial debate between incumbent Republican Gov. Rick Scott and former Democrat Gov. Charlie Crist. What we got was a seven-minute delay in the debate, with Crist standing alone on stage, sparking hashtags like #fangate, #fanghazi and #fantrum. Given that elections are 14 days away, this was one of the last times the candidates would be seen together to argue the merits of their respective platforms.
As it turns out, Charlie Crist doesn’t like to sweat. So much so that he brings a fan with him most places, even to the gym. The fan itself even has its own Twitter handle. When it became clear that Crist had a small electric fan under his podium, Gov. Scott refused to join him on stage, delaying the, at this point, televised debate.
Apparently the campaigns had agreed upon a rule prohibiting electronic devices on stage. You know, things that, were they present, would potentially interrupt the debate, such as smart phones, tablets and the like.
A candidate wants a modicum of comfort while competing for major state office? Heresy. Obviously, the sensible solution is to delay the debate, à la 4-year-old playground tactics, and refuse to come out until you get your way.
This was a case of good, old-fashioned triviality. Luckily for us, it was televised. All Scott got out of his fan filibuster was a shift in focus away from the issues, which Scott has an advantage in, onto his own refusal to partake. He did more to interrupt the debate than an obnoxiously loud iPhone ever could.
As far as embarrassing political moments go, this is right up there with Weinergate parts one and two, the stained blue dress and the Howard Dean scream. If you haven’t seen the Dean scream, go watch it.
There used to be a dignity in American politics, when candidates would hold themselves to certain standards of decorum. In the 1912 presidential election, former president Theodore Roosevelt was going to deliver a speech when an armed man shot him in the chest. Instead of raving about it or rushing to the hospital, Roosevelt simply said, “It takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”
Nowadays, our elected officials take pictures of their genitals, sell vacated offices and act like children on live television. If we want to take our own politics seriously, we need candidates to act more like Roosevelt and less like Scott.
Ryan McGehee is a 21-year-old political science and history senior from Zachary, La. You can reach him on Twitter @JRyanMcGehee.