BATON ROUGE – Come December, LSU’s plaid-laden, galaxy pant wearing, mustachioed hipsters will have to find another pretentious coffee place to call home. 
According to a school newspaper that shall not be named, Highland Coffees on State street will close its doors due to disagreements with renewing the lease, leaving a venerated 25 year old icon without a replacement location. 
However, while most are focused on the future of the business, many are questioning what will happen to the caffeine-addicted faithful who religiously venerate the coffee hotspot, especially the vulnerable hipster community. 
Hipsters have been on a decline in recent years, losing many of their adherents to new fashion and cultural trends such as Normcore, Healthgoth, and Post-Hashtag Punk Wave. 
Without a calm, mellow spot to chill and write that never completed screenplay of theirs, many hipsters feel that their entire community could vanish come winter.  
“Many of us simply don’t know anything else behind these walls,” says Kim Roberts, a self proclaimed hipster since she first signed up for Tumblr. “I begin to have panic attacks just thinking about not being able to Instagram a pic of my Chocolate Cappuccino from my favorite chair anymore.”
Since the announcement earlier today, many hipsters could be seen aimlessly walking down State street talking to other hipsters on their iPhones about how radically their lives would change, compulsively picking at their thick, luscious beards. 
If LSU and Baton Rouge doesn’t find a suitable alternative for hipsters to nest, the results could be catastrophic. Jessica Long, a researcher with the LSU Cultural Studies department, says that hipsters are not equipped to survive venues with hundreds of TVs all playing Sports Center or where busty women beckon you to play Big Buck Hunter Moose Adventure.
“They simply aren’t able to adapt to new environments,” Long stated. “It’s an evolutionary fault within them; even though the hipster movement is pretty much over, they can’t bring themselves to switch from American Spirits to Newports and slip on platform Adidas sandals and join in the Cyberpunk dystopian vision of the future.”
While Highland Coffees has not announced any plans for relocation just yet, LSU can only hope it figures it out soon. Flannel button downs and horn-rimmed glasses might not be enough to protect the endangered hipster from the coming winter elements.