Editor’s note: The following column is satire.
The Israel-Hamas war is a difficult situation to understand, leading many on the left to simplify the story in an attempt to garner sympathy for the Palestinian cause. Mainstream liberals are closer to the real story, and it’s far more complicated than leftists would have you believe.
Before criticizing Israel, any good liberal should ask themselves some questions. Is apartheid good? What are the positives of living in an open air concentration camp? In a practical sense, what’s wrong with ethnic cleansing? How many places can Hamas possibly be operating out of that need to be bombed?
Apartheid can be good for both parties. While it may be a bit unfair to those living under apartheid, it creates the opportunity for leaders like Nelson Mandela to rise up. If South Africa had never been under apartheid, Mandela wouldn’t have been able to live for free for 27 years in prison and meet Barack Obama later in life.
There are pros and cons to everything. Also, it’s contested that Israel’s seizures of Palestinian land and property, unlawful killings, forcible transfers, drastic movement restrictions and denial of nationality and citizenship even constitute an apartheid state. It’s more accurate to think of their system as being separate but equal.
Crazy leftists would say that open air concentration camps are abhorrent, but they haven’t considered that some of the people in the camps may not be all that great. Some of them may have shoplifted or cheated on their spouse.
Before criticizing concentration camps, one should think about how much they would mind if the worst person they knew lived in one.
Leftists are also quick to decry ethnic cleansing, but they clearly haven’t heard Israel out on the issue. The IDF refers to it as “mowing the grass.” The left would have you believe that everyone who’s ever mowed their lawn is evil. What’s next? Taking out the trash? Cleaning the dishes? Doing the laundry?
Those on the left claim that Israel is being disingenuous when it claims to be targeting Hamas when bombing hospitals, escape routes, refugee camps, ambulance convoys, mosques and schools.
The unfortunate reality is that Hamas is everywhere. It’s not ideal, but bombing every member of Hamas has a cost. As of Oct. 16, Israel had killed 6 Hamas leaders and 800 children. This isn’t an ideal trade, but liberals generally understand that sometimes even the best aim can miss its target. Is Patrick Mahomes a war criminal for every pass he misses? Of course not.
To any leftists that oppose Israel’s strategy of bombing every single person in Gaza in favor of Hamas, please consider that the Islamist group is anti-LGBTQ, a group you claim to support. Imagine a world where Hamas governed the Gaza Strip free from Israeli influence.
Some children would grow up facing persecution for their sexuality or gender identity. Progressives should be thanking Israel for the compassionate bombing that is saving so many kids from a life of gay bashing.
The left’s real problem with Israel is not its long list of so-called war crimes and human rights violations; they don’t like Israel because they’re antisemitic. That’s the only reason that anyone would criticize Israel; progressives whine and complain about supposed genocide to mask their deep-seated hatred of the Jewish people.
Who can forget when progressives marched through the streets of Charlottesville chanting, “Jews will not replace us” and then framed well-meaning right-wingers who were having an innocent tiki torch party? This smear was intended to make conservatives look like bigots to provide cover.
The truth is there’s no antisemitism on the right, especially the alt-right. Take it from 4chan user Hitlerrules1488, who posted, “I unequivocally support Israel in this matter; they aren’t my favorite for obvious reasons but the lesser of two evils I guess. I hope they use the space lasers on the hospitals next.”
Does that look like the comment of an antisemite? Of course not. He’s supporting Israel which automatically means that he’s a crusader for the rights of Jewish people.
Leftists like to deflect from their obvious antisemitism by bringing up alleged anti-Arab and Islamaphobic sentiments on the side of Israel and the West at large. Does that even sound right? Who has ever heard of anti-Arab racism or Islamophobia in the Western world?
It’s never happened, and it doesn’t inform the coverage of the story or how it’s viewed. The claim is as ridiculous as saying that Bigfoot is the reason for the actions of the Israeli government.
Those who are pro-Israel are only motivated by a goal of peace. That peace, however, can’t be attained as long as certain people are living where they aren’t supposed to be.
Leftists claim that violent resistance to the apartheid state was inevitable. They say that the violence necessary to maintain that order ensures a violent resistance. Anyone who dares to ask why they’re justifying Hamas’ violence is hit with the phrase they love to hide behind, “explanation is not justification.”
These radicals need to rethink the issue. There are more productive and peaceful ways. Palestinian demonstrators conducted the “Great March of Return” from March 30, 2018, to Dec. 27, 2019.
Protesters would meet on Fridays and other special days at five areas along the perimeter fence. Israeli forces responded with tear gas canisters and sniper fire. As a result, 214 Palestinians, including 46 children, were killed, and over 36,100 were injured. One in five of those injured were hit by live ammunition.
Palestinians must’ve forgotten the adage “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” Peace could easily be achieved if they had just done it again. If that didn’t work, there were many other ways to go. They could just wait for Israel to change its mind, or they could ask nicely. Have they even considered asking pretty please with a cherry on top?
The left insists that liberals are practically as bad as the right in their complicity in the destruction of Palestine. Nothing could be farther from the truth; this is just another case of mainstream liberals having to tell their ideologue little brothers to calm down.
Israel is justified in doing literally anything it wants to take out Hamas. Now is the time to continue our tradition of bipartisan foreign policy and support the complete leveling of any civilian population Israel wants to target.
Frank Kidd is a 22-year-old mass communication senior from Springfield, Virginia.
