Before his death, NBA superstar Kobe Bryant coined the term “girl dad” as an identifier for fathers with daughters. He used the term not only to honor his four daughters but also to support the WNBA. Following the moniker’s rise in popularity, mothers with sons decided to put their own twist on it. Thus, the “boy mom” was created.
What started out as a silly social media trend quickly took a turn for the worst. Viewers began noticing that some women have a clear bias for their sons. For example, some boy moms would express how much they adore their sons and how boys are “easier to raise.”
This trend is a clear symbol of misogyny — one that’s detrimental to people of all genders. Unpacking this trend is difficult, because it’s not actually a trend. It’s a toxic mindset that could harm generations to come if it’s not corrected.
Of course these women still love their other children, but the preferential treatment toward their sons creates a rift between mother and daughter. As a young girl, your mom is supposed to be your first friend: You do your nails, go shopping and talk about boys together. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case for girls with “boy moms.”
Most girls are taught to cook, clean, be home before dark and remain lady-like. Meanwhile, their brothers are allowed to roam free and do as they please. This is problematic, because it teaches boys that men and women are not equal while reinforcing patriarchal standards.
When boy moms push this toxic mindset, it matures their daughters prematurely. Yes, knowing how to cook, clean and take care of a home is important, but those life skills shouldn’t be gender specific.
Even though the boys are being treated better, they become emotionally handicapped and unequipped to take care of themselves as adults. Raising boys to believe that women are beneath them while giving praise to their every move involves a form of emotional incest and creates a vicious cycle of misogyny.
This dynamic also creates a hostile environment for non-binary people. Since a boy mom’s actions are heavily based on the nuclear family structure, non-binary people are stuck in a limbo of patriarchy and gender roles. So when it comes to fulfilling those roles, there’s a heavy pushback from nonbinary people that challenges those traditional beliefs.
Boy moms aren’t solely to blame for this; after all, they’re just products of the system. It’s fun to make fun of these women because their behavior is ridiculous, but these concepts aren’t new. They’re old, and they’re harmful. Boy moms and other social media trends like it are simply mirroring the problematic systems within society.
Jemiah Clemons is a 19-year-old Kinesiology sophomore from Miami, Florida.
