Editor’s note: The following column is satire.
The 90-year-old California U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein has given power of attorney to her daughter, according to a document published by Insider.
Katherine Feinstein, 66, took on the power of attorney role following an eyebrow-raising scene that occurred during a vote on an $823 billion military budget when her mother began speaking and was interrupted by colleagues instructing her to just vote “aye.”
This incident has amplified the calls for Feinstein to resign; however, a point that has largely been ignored is the underlying bigotry of her critics.
Feinstein is being targeted because of ageism. Those calling for her resignation believe that her mental faculties are declining, when in fact, she is simply expressing herself alternatively.
Utilizing the art of rambling while speaking publicly is a generally frowned upon tactic, but it is often used by plus-aged people. It is a skill that only reveals itself during one’s golden years. President Joe Biden is only 80 years old, and he’s already given some of the best rambling performances this country’s ever seen. Imagine the beautiful word salads that Feinstein will deliver being 10 years his senior.
Ageism is behind the denigration of this artistic and special tool of communication. Rambling is a beautiful method of expression, and criticizing it is the height of ignorance.
Did society ask Michaelangelo not to use paintbrushes? Or lambast Ernest Hemingway for using paper? Feinstein’s detractors would probably call Martin Scorsese a hack for using cameras.
Age brings wisdom, and we should be ruled by the wisest among us. There have been calls for an upper limit age cap on those serving in public office. It’s not only morally abhorrent but also completely backwards. There should be an age limit, but it should limit people younger than 65 from serving.
People under 65 should be too busy having kids and working to fund social security; they shouldn’t have the time to serve in Congress. They should leave the governing to the people who can devote the proper attention to the job.
For an example of why we shouldn’t let young people make decisions for the country, look no further than the big screen. Characters in movies never solicit advice from the young and naive; they correctly rely on the knowledge of an elderly sage. Despite this fact, many would still like to see younger people in office.
The way people are talking about Feinstein, one would think they want a government entirely run by babies. Ageists’ youth-obsession would lead them to elect a baby president, and he’d be getting his diaper changed during the State of the Union address. They’d like to see infants ordering drone attacks after their afternoon naps, and Republican babies upset over the availability of Dora the Explorer on their streaming services.
If blatantly bigoted sentiments continue, expect massive organizing. Senior citizens are more acutely aware of discrimination against them after one of the most ageist viruses of all time, COVID-19, ravaged their community.
Prepare for early bird sit-ins and bingo boycotts to sweep the nation. The nation’s capital should prepare for a month-long march from Congress to the White House. Such actions will be necessary to clean up the discriminatory attitudes that unfortunately have a hold on our public discourse.
Frank Kidd is a 22-year-old mass communication senior from Springfield, Virginia.
