Score: 0/5
Six years after Paul Blart earned the honor of saving the local mall, he is still the awkward, sweaty security guy he established himself to be — maybe worse.
However, in the first five minutes of the sequel, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2,” Amy, played by Jayma Mays, divorces him after six days of marriage, and his mother is run over by a milk truck.
As if the opening scene wasn’t horrible enough, the movie drags on for an hour and a half.
On the bright side, he receives a formal invitation to a security officers’ trade convention at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, to be recognized along with other national mall cops.
The ensuing plotline is painful to watch as it focuses on Blart’s battle to stop an art heist being orchestrated by Vincent, played by Neal McDonough, whose team of agents is attempting to steal some of the most renowned artworks and replace them with replicas to cover their tracks.
Blart also has to save his daughter Maya, played by Raini Rodriguez, who’s being held hostage in Vincent’s presidential suite after accidentally walking into the heist planning.
The sequence of events that occur are enough to leave anyone’s head spinning.
Blart constantly has to turn down Divina, played by Daniella Alonso, an attractive manager who shamelessly flirts with him, while Maya develops a crush on a hotel staff member named Lane, played by David Henrie.
Some of the other antics include Blart fighting a large bird, punching an old room service maid in the stomach, defeating Vincent’s agents with rubber ammo and getting kicked by a horse in the closing scene, making me wish I could have been the horse.
After seeing the PG-movie, I’m uncertain how it’s supposed to appeal to children, as there were very limited jokes in the film. Even when there were “jokes,” I’m positive children wouldn’t have understood them in the first place, as they were catered toward adults.
This movie shouldn’t be for anyone, but if its failed jokes, polyester tropical shirts and cheesy fight scenes that sounds enjoyable, it actually might be for someone out there.
You can reach Ashlyn Rollins on Twitter @ash_r96.