“In this corner, drinking two wine coolers and four tequila shots, the princess of Alabama football, Krrrrrriiistennnn Saaaaabbbbaaaaannnn!”
Reports have recently capitalized on the news that Nick Saban’s daughter Kristen was allegedly involved in a drunken brawl with sorority sister Sarah Grimes in 2010.
Grimes is suing her former sorority sister for an estimated amount of greater than $10,000 despite not pressing criminal charges.
If that’s not sisterhood, I don’t know what is.
Whenever I hear someone isn’t pressing criminal charges, I immediately think that all they want is money. And it’s a pretty safe bet that Grimes knows Kristen Saban has access to a decent bank account.
I’m not saying Grimes is lying or even that she doesn’t deserve the money, but if it weren’t for Papa Nick, this lawsuit would be for basic medical costs instead of tens of thousands of dollars.
The two members of the Alabama’s Phi Mu sorority chapter allegedly took to blows after Kristen Saban became highly emotional due to her boyfriend not giving her enough attention at the bar.
Basically, the man referred to only as “BV” in the lawsuit was annoyed that Kristen Saban was displaying “erratic behavior” – she was two shots away singing “These Boots Are Made For Walking” up on the bar top – at a local nightclub.
And what may be the most shocking part of the story is that sources claim that “BV” is actually Alabama tight end Brian Vogler. If true, he may be the bravest man of all time to be willing to take a shot at his head coach’s daughter.
The night reportedly began innocently enough, with a friendly round of “power hour,” a drinking game that requires participants to drink every time the song changes, between Kristen Saban and her friends, which included Grimes.
After the girls’ power hour, they went to the bar, got drunker, and logically, Kristen Saban drove everyone home.
Once back at her apartment, Kristen Saban allegedly began to complain about her love life – because every one loves to listen to their drunk friends whine about relationships – at which point Grimes yelled at her to “Please just shut up. We’re all sick and tired of hearing it.”
So naturally, Kristen Saban posted “No one like’s Sarah! Yayyyy!” to Facebook, which asks the obvious question: Did the lawyers have to get the exact number of Y’s?
A few minutes later, three girls allegedly had to pull Kristen Saban from her death grip on Grimes’ hair as Kristen Saban repeatedly swung at her head.
This is where the report veers a little on the weird side. “Sarah looked down and noticed a great amount of blood was running down her chest and into her bra,” according to the lawsuit.
Is this a police report or an excerpt from “50 Shades of Grey?”
Long story short, Grimes went to the hospital, while Kristen Saban took a page straight out of Crazy Drunk Girl 101 and cried on her bedroom floor while screaming, “I’m going to jail!” repeatedly.
At the time, Grimes claimed she didn’t want to press criminal charges because it was just a fight between friends. But at some point in the next year, Grimes realized just who Kristen Saban’s father is and suddenly developed what is best described as post traumatic stress syndrome.
Basically, she claims Kristen Saban is so crazy, Grimes now has the equivalent of Vietnam flashbacks.
I guarantee somewhere around LSU, this exact scenario will happen in the next month. Except the only thing that will come of it is the girls will move out, and the instigator will get kicked out of the sorority.
The only difference is that one of the girls isn’t the daughter of Les Miles – watch yourself, Smacker Miles.
 
____ Contact Mike Gegnheimer at [email protected]