I am a small-time player in the vast right-wing conspiracy.
A regular old tax-opposing, gay-bashing, flag-loving, military-glorifying, change-fearing, abortion-detesting, war-mongering, intolerant, inbred conservative who never plans on leaving the South.
I also attended Catholic school.
And before anyone asks – yes, they brainwash us early.
That’s right, Charlie Sheen and Rosie O’Donnell were telling the truth when they blamed the 9/11 tragedy on a conservative conspiracy. Louis Farrakhan wasn’t kidding when he suggested the right-wing government was responsible for post-Katrina New Orleans. Harry Reid was omniscient when he called Americans “racist” for opposing his views on illegal immigration.
Simple minds do think alike. It’s true.
We conservatives are all in on it.
Now, I don’t really hate gays. I don’t usually fear change. I’m not opposed to diversity. I’m not intolerant. But I am a conservative Catholic who prays and supports the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance.
Still wondering who I’m going to vote for?
You’re not the only one. I’m clueless too. But I’ve narrowed it down. It’s either Giuliani, Clinton, Romney, McCain, Huckabee or Thompson.
Well, maybe not Clinton.
Over the holidays, various contenders argued about which of the 38 other presidential candidates is most likely to bring about change. Fair or not, Hillary will always carry the memories of her husband’s past.
The self-described “hope-monger” Barack Obama has staked his entire candidacy on the theme of change even though he plans to employ Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton in his administration.
Thompson and Huckabee strike me as the classic George-W-Bush-Christian-conservative-types. Giuliani and McCain frequently praise the president’s foreign policy toward the War on Terror.
Romney may be the only candidate who can actually sell the change card given that he’s frequently labeled a flip-flopper by everyone under the sun, although I doubt it.
But I wonder who can actually bring about real change in Washington? What kind of focus would that change entail?
The quickest and most likely way citizens will witness transformation is the way things will get screwed up over the next few years. Which issues most need screwing up is left for voters like us to decide.
If our Democratic-controlled Congress would just put a fence around our border, there would be one less issue for conservatives to win. If liberals would call gay marriage something other than “gay marriage,” Christians would have a lot less to complain about.
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against liberals in any way. But I believe liberals make better critics than they do leaders – at least lately.
Look at Hillary Clinton’s ignorance about events surrounding the Bhutto assassination. Clinton was quick to denounce Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf’s decision to continue his candidacy in the upcoming presidential elections. The problem was that Gen. Musharraf was not up for reelection. In fact, his name wasn’t even on the ballot – the upcoming vote was for a Parliamentary election, not an executive appointment.
Clinton’s not the only problem though – the only success story of the Democratic Congress was the minimum wage increase. Despite Democrats’ promises to bring the troops home, even their presidential candidates have all but ignored the Iraq debate – probably because the surge is working.
There’s increased support for Obama because he might be the first black president, as well as support for Clinton because she might be the first female president. I’m just wondering how intelligent it is to elect a candidate because of his or her sex and race.
But why take my word for it when I tell you conservatism is the right choice? Why not find out what some liberal critics said about a Democratic front-runner?
Look to some of the most outspoken Clinton critics for advice. The New York Observer called for Clinton’s resignation from the Senate. Hardball’s Chris Matthews compared Bill and Hill to international crooks, while Maureen Dowd called them the modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. President Bill Clinton’s former aide, Dick Morris, even claimed Bill Clinton would go down – no pun intended – as one of the most corrupt presidents in US history.
Do we really want Hillary Clinton, who touts her front row seat behind one of the most corrupt chief executives in history as a justification for presidential experience, to be our next president? Will the people elect a candidate with so much baggage, a candidate whose presidency will be tarnished before it even begins?
Probably.
If the liberal media is to be believed, then it’s obvious I’m not the only one siding with the conservative movement.
And if you disagree with me you’re worse than the unborn lovechild of Hitler and Stalin that was nursed by Neville Chamberlain. Because 9/11 changed everything.
—-Contact Daniel Lumetta at [email protected]