We may not have a particular genre of music, fashion trend or catchphrase that defines this decade, but we have the Internet — trump card.  After debasing our decade for its lack of originality last week, a student sent me an e-mail informing me that I failed to mention the key aspect of this decade — the ultimate trend and idea that defines it: the Internet.And he was dead on.We are the “children of the Internet,” according to history professor and American Pop Culture instructor Charles Shindo.”I believe access to the amount and kind of information available on the Internet has affected young people in ways, for both good and bad, that have yet to emerge,” he said.This is also dead on.The Internet is no longer a pastime. It’s an addiction. It’s omniscient and omnipotent. It has basically become — well, you can fill in the blank — and has replaced our nightly Bible readings with celebrity gossip blogs.It keeps us up to date on everything from the president to  Perez. It lets our friends and government know our whereabouts.Without the Internet, millions of people would never find their soulmate, their significant other or a cybersex partner.And without Wikipedia, I don’t know where we would be. And I honestly don’t want to know.We don’t have to go to Blockbuster to pick up a movie. We don’t even have to use Redbox because nobody wants to pay $1 to rent a movie when you can get one for free on a streaming video Web site.There’s no point in purchasing CDs anymore because we have iTunes and LimeWire. We can get music instantly and usually gratis.With the Internet, people no longer have to pretend they’re lost in bookstores as they peruse the self-help aisle. People no longer have to lie to the salesclerk at novelty stores by claiming that “appendage” ring and edible thong are for their bestie’s bachelorette party because Web sites like Amazon.com can ship those to you shame- and hassle-free and usually at a discounted price.We can even order take-out on some restaurants’ Web sites.Before we know it, the Internet will be able to simulate images of warm, greasy Rotisserie chicken and cheap beer to curb our cravings, just like in Neverland. And then we won’t even have to worry about diet and exercise.What a wonderful life.But the Internet has a dark side.”While [the Internet] has its obvious benefits, it also has its detriments, mainly in the process of finding information,” Shindo said. “The Internet has made it possible for anyone to present information without any vetting of that information. “It also allows opinion to be presented alongside, and often masquerading as, fact or an authoritative source,” he said. The danger to public discourse is the blurring of the line between fact and opinion.”But citing incorrect information in a term paper is the least of our problems.Just about any creature with opposable thumbs can hack into people’s bank accounts and retrieve social security numbers with the click of a button.With our growing dependence on the Internet, we risk the possibility of becoming “Hoverchair people,” better known as the boneless blobs in “WALL·E” that move via electronic chairs as they simultaneously surf the Web and consume liquid “cupcakes in a cup.”Computers control these people’s thoughts and actions, or lack thereof.When the computer advises, “Try blue, it’s the new red,” the computer automatically renders the Hoverchair people’s outfit a new color.Sure, being wheeled around while sitting back and surfing the Web 24/7 without ever having to leave your chair may sound appealing.But think about this: If you can’t get up from your chair, then you probably can’t get something else up.Now I bet that’ll change your mind.All this may seem far-fetched, but in reality, how different are we from these Hoverchair people?We sit and stare at our computer screens and play on the Internet for hours at a time.If a pop-up encourages us to buy the latest style or try the newest diet pill that may or may not destroy our vital organs, we usually obey.And thanks to the iPhone, we can now walk around like anti-social robots while ironically dillydallying on social networking Web sites like Facebook.We obviously are nearing 700 years from now a little quicker than the makers of “WALL·E” predicted.So maybe it’s time for us to admit our addiction to the Internet and start chewing some Nicorette-inspired gum, because by the looks of it, we are on the fast track into transforming into lackadaisical tubs of lard whose thoughts, actions and bowel movements are controlled by a computer.- – – -Contact Drew Belle Zerby at [email protected]