That Tim Tebow is a son of a bitch.The senior Florida quarterback is amazing — a man among boys, the paragon of virtue in a college football landscape muddled by vice.He’s the best thing to happen to college football since the advent of plastic helmets, don’t you know.Oh, Tim Tebow, let me now adore thee.He goes about 6 feet, 3 inches and 240 pounds of athletic ability.He became the first sophomore to ever win the Heisman trophy when he snagged it in 2007.He’s an All-American, has two Manning Awards, two Maxwell Awards, a slew of other relatively insignificant accolades, and dude’s even got a couple of ESPYs.He’s so good at sports, and I like him so much. He’s so beyond swagnificent.He’s also got two national championships to his name.Tim Tebow is a son of a bitch.He goes about 7 feet, 5 inches and 325 pounds of puritanical pride.There will never be anyone ever again to walk the earth with this man’s pristine way of life.And he has a certain je ne sais quoi about him that makes him irresistible.Even though he’s so awesome, he’s saving himself for marriage. Tebow told the world about it at Southeastern Conference Media Days this past summer.Oh, blessed virgin Tebow—  I don’t know how he resists the temptations of the flesh.Men want to be Tebow and women would kill their three best friends to be with him. He’s the coolest guy in whatever town he’s in.When he took his shirt off and posed in The Swamp for GQ magazine, hearts fluttered everywhere, and even I, lover of all things feminine, fell in love.Tebow is like an un-sideburned, unintimidating, un-black John Shaft. I can dig it.He’s not only known for his looks and football, he does mission work in the Philippines too.The man spends time circumcising kids — without a medical license! Oh, so noble.Tim Tebow is a son of a bitch. He goes about 9 feet, 8 inches and 575 pounds of modern-day messiah.Fox commentator Thom Brennaman wasn’t going overboard during the 2009 BCS National Championship Game when he spit out this gem:”If you are fortunate enough to spend five minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it,” Brennaman said.There aren’t many people whose name you could put into that quote in place of Tebow’s and still have it be accurate.The list basically goes like this: Jesus Christ, Tim Tebow, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa and, finally, Gandhi.The only reason Tebow isn’t at the head of that list is because I’m not 100 percent sure Tebow can walk on water or feed a multitude with two fish and five loaves of bread — but I’ve heard rumors.I’m pretty sure he can raise the dead though, including himself after getting knocked out by Kentucky freshman defensive end Taylor Wyndham.Last season after Florida dropped a home contest to Ole Miss, Tebow made a promise — a promise that will live forever in American folklore alongside tales of Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan and John Henry, the steel driving man.He promised he would raise the Gator Nation back up from the loss, and he promised you, me and everyone we know that he would play the game harder and push harder than anyone who had ever come before him.And he did en route to his second national championship.God Bless. If our mutual heterosexuality, Christian faiths and hip-hop culture at large didn’t disagree so much, I’d probably take him on a date complete with a nice meal and a game of bowling or something.I don’t think it’d be gay either. I’m just a cool dude who can appreciate other cool dudes and their, uh, coolness.  Johanathan Brooks is a 21-year-old mass communication senior from Powder Springs, Ga. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_jbrooks.– – – – Contact Johanathan Brooks at [email protected]