I’d like to donate a few of my eggs to science and let some researcher create a mermaid baby for me. Is that so wrong?Senators Mary Landrieu and Sam Brownback think so. In July, they introduced a bill banning the creation of human-animal hybrids. The bill doesn’t ban any use of humans or animals in health research or services as long as genetic material won’t be inherited by future generations. So don’t worry, grandpa can keep his pig heart.Scientists dealing with human-animal hybrids actually have no intention of making half-man, half-animal creatures. They’re trying to use DNA from animals and humans to further other kinds of health research. This perfectly highlights the American senators’ bipartisan ignorance of the science and its implications.These scientists aren’t aspiring Dr. Frankensteins. Researchers in England are currently trying to blend the DNA of humans and cows to create stem cells for use in future research – research, not circus sideshows. Landrieu specifically mentioned the British research in a statement, saying such research “creates an unnatural species and is a clear line we cannot cross.”But let me be the first to ask, why not?  Who wouldn’t want to be hybridized into an angel, able to fly around and avoid Baton Rouge traffic? Does Mary Landrieu hate rainbows, too?The senators mention human-animal hybrids could open up new susceptibility for disease, and  other unforeseen issues could arise that for which are currently unable to prepare.We already catch plenty of diseases and ailments from animals, not to mention the animal products we consume of our own volition. Malaria, anyone?  How about E. coli? Perhaps you’ve heard of this newfangled swine flu?Creating human-animal hybrids could actually help us fight off diseases, combining defense mechanisms or immunities certain animals have we might lack. We could give teenage surfer boys turtle shells, teach them ninja skills and put them in the military. The possibilities for improvement on the human form greatly outweigh the possibilities for degeneration.Disease and inability to predict the future are actually the secondary concerns cited by the senators. The main reason they are against human-animal hybrids is speciesism. On his blog, Sen. Brownback says, “Creating human-animal hybrids will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice.”The definition of a human isn’t “not being an animal.” Humans are weird-looking animals who walk on their hind legs and have strangely distributed fur. Compared to other animals (particularly mammals), we’re already pretty undignified-looking.Being a human is more about lording over all the other animals. What better way to reassert our humanity than using the coolest parts of animals to make humans even cooler?I’d like to volunteer my DNA to make the first human-animal hybrid (preferably a mermaid). Being myself, I know I would be thrilled, so I can guarantee you my hybrid would have no ethical problems with being a hybrid, nor would she be unhappy with her new, awesome half-human, half-fish identity. If you’re worried about passing down weird time-bomb traits, that is not a problem. We don’t want kids, so you can sterilize my hybrid, and I can still bear “normal” children if we change our mind. But scientists aren’t interested in creating mythical creatures. Even if they were, it probably wouldn’t be a big deal — just awesome. So can the people who represent Louisiana to the rest of the world stop highlighting our ignorance and silliness now? That’s my job.Sara Boyd is a 22-year-old general studies junior from Baton Rouge. Follow her at twitter.com/TDR_SBoyd.
 
 
 
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