Among the many dormitories at the University, Miller truly stands out.
Every day, more than 540 girls pass through the white asylum halls, walking back and forth from their friends’ rooms. I mean, honestly, who wouldn’t want to spend their days in a room made of stacked white cinder blocks?
Another great feature of Miller is its eight washers and dryers, which are supposed to accommodate over 500 girls. It’s a good thing girls don’t go through a lot of clothes or anything, because that would just be bad planning.  
Miller girls are obviously just overwhelmed with the amount of options for washers and dryers. Instead of facing all their options in the laundry room, they flood out in herds with their laundry baskets to wash at literally any other location besides Miller. While they’re out doing laundry they probably grab a good hot shower too, considering hot water is merely a luxury at Miller.
The desirable location of this dorm helps to lure girls into choosing to live at Miller. It’s close enough to sorority row to never miss a Greek event, but far enough away from everything else so you’ll always have an excuse to miss class. Whenever people aren’t using the study rooms for gossip, you can do your makeup work in there. So it balances out.
Although it’s almost impossible to be lonely while living in this fine establishment, it happens every now and then. But do not fear. Just head to the seventh floor and you’ll be greeted by the friendliest population of geckos you’ve ever met. A little gecko party never hurt anyone, am I right?  
If the geckos aren’t good enough company, just invite your boyfriend from your hometown. You can both sleep in your car together, since they aren’t allowed in Miller past a certain hour. Honestly, you’ll probably sleep better in your car anyways, considering you won’t have to listen to the drunken shrieks of belligerent girls running up and down the hallways at all hours of the night.
Trust plays a huge role in the hallways of Miller. When you leave your room every day, you have to face the decision of leaving your room unlocked for any kleptomaniac to pilfer through your things, or bringing your door key with you. But it’s never just that easy. If one roommate wants to lock the door, then every roommate has to know to bring their key with them as well. If they’re already out and about, looks like you’ll just have to trust all 540 girls to not go into your room.
Worst case scenario, if you’re out late and lose your room key or get locked out, you can just wait it out in the bathroom. Sure, a few girls will probably be running in every few minutes to puke in the sinks or to slyly sneak their boyfriends in to pee. While you’re sitting in the fetal position in the hallway, hopefully waiting for one of your roommates to return, just close your eyes and whisper to yourself, “at least I’m close to sorority row” over and over again. It probably won’t help.
If you love Miller and want to spend the rest of your life there, you don’t have to worry. It’s been there for decades and the University will probably never follow through with removing it. Fortunately, in your old age, you can return and take a meaningful walk around the lakes and gaze upon the beautiful dull, brick building.
So come one, come all to the famous Miller dorms. The bathrooms aren’t clean, the rooms are small, the halls are loud and boys are seen as the devil, but memories are made there. Who doesn’t love a good ole Miller memory?
Casey Pimentel is an 18-year-old mass communication major from The Woodlands, Texas.