“He’ll make America great again,” screamed Republicans across the nation. However, it’s the anniversary of fright and disappointment, and the only thing great is we’re a year closer to the next presidential election. Today is a day that’ll forever live in infamy.
I’m still not sure why America elected a belligerent reality star as president of the United States. Y’all could’ve seen this man on NBC on Monday nights during his episodes of “The Celebrity Apprentice.” Yet, y’all decided to give him the Oval Office as a place to visit on occasion after his spray tans and hang portraits of slave owners.
My wishful thinking can’t wait for Ashton Kutcher to appear — if this is really his doing, he’s getting an earful from me. It’s not fair that everyone else was only punk’d for 30 minutes, but the entire country’s been pranked for the past year.
The only thing Donald Trump does right is nothing. His parents must’ve never taught him that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. The American people are launching them right back, but they keep missing him due to his constant relocation, heading back and forth between golfing with his pals and irritating people.
The 2016 presidential election is equivalent to space: it’s something we’ll never fully understand. There was one candidate who had decades of experience and another who had decades of lawsuits, and y’all elected the latter. It’ll never make sense. America, you had one job and that was to elect a person of presidential caliber.
If anything disappointed me the most, it was Louisiana — if our state wanted to cast a peculiar vote, there was always Mike the Tiger. We didn’t have to throw the whole country away. Mike doesn’t ban people from his country, brag about groping women, refer to athletes as “sons of bitches,” get into Twitter wars with military widows (or with anyone at all), toss paper towels to hurricane victims, create an unending war with the media or stare at the solar eclipse without protective glasses.
Aside from trying hard to get us blown up by Kim Jong-un, Vladimir Putin’s best friend has done nothing but attempt to destroy the legacy of former President Obama and become the oldest person to harass people on Twitter.
There’s a substantial amount of tension and hostility in our country. There’s division everywhere from politics to football, and we desperately need something that’ll unify our country. We need the impeachment of Donald J. Trump. The skies would brighten and the world would become vibrant again.
As my president Annie once said, “When I’m stuck in a day that’s gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say oh,” — impeachment. Unfortunately, orphan Annie’s “tomorrow” is my unknown date. Nonetheless, my guess for the date of Trump’s impeachment is July 15, 2018. What’s yours?
Clarke Perkins is a 21-year-old political science senior from New Orleans, Louisiana.
