Inauguration Day is near, and there is change in the air — and not just pocket change, a small loan of a million dollars type of change.
This Friday will be the day that begins an era of “Making America Great Again”, which may or may not entail taking Cokes back to a nickel a pop or burning witches at the stake, depending on your interpretation of when America was great.
President-elect Donald J. Trump has been anticipating this day since he first considered running for the presidency in 1988. In the short days leading up to the official beginning of his term, Trump has been making a few preparations in order to make his transition into the White House a smooth one.
First, Trump will use a quick brush or 12 of his Kylie Jenner matte finish bronzer in shade “Citrine” to give his skin that subtle orangey glow.
Next, he’ll run a comb through his wispy mane while mouthing the words “huge” “wall” and “loser” over and over to himself in the mirror.
After a quick kiss and wink to himself, Trump will be ready to go. “It’s going to be huge,” Trump said. “I have a totally terrific lineup for the event. Only the biggest names like 3 Doors Down, Toby Keith and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. 
The only thing I’m upset about is that my best friend, who is not a hacker, won’t be there. I won’t say his name. Really fantastic guy, though, believe me.”
Trump has also said, despite his earlier statement about only accepting the results of the election if he won, he will place his hand on the Bible and swear to any oath he has to on Inauguration Day.
“Fine,” Trump said. “I’ll do it. But if I think it’s rigged, I’ll cross my fingers. And if they catch me, then I’ll have Melania cross her fingers.” 
As it’s time for the Trump family to assume office, it is also time for the Obama family to step down. Like any other election, there are many who will celebrate, and many who will mourn.
There are already several different groups planning to demonstrate during or after the Inauguration, such as the Women’s March on Washington, Occupy Inauguration and DisruptJ20. 
“Losers,” Trump said. “Probably being led by crooked Hillary. They’ll be the first ones over the wall, which is totally happening, by the way.”
Despite any protests or opposition, at noon on Jan. 20, 2017, Trump will become the 45th president of the United States, and that night will be his first to sleep in his new home at his new address in Washington D.C.
Harriet Adams is a 20-year-old mass communication sophomore from Bonita, Louisiana.