The best show on television isn’t “Lost” or “The Office”  or reruns of “The George Lopez Show” on Nick at Nite.The best show on television is “Tool Academy.” I’m not saying the first three are bad, but I never make myself watch them. Sundays at 9 p.m., I make myself stop everything to see what human trash this VH1 show can throw at me next.But, lately, “Tool Academy” has been slacking in the awesome department.The first season was genius because I had never seen Hulk-sized dudes cry, then throw mattresses across the room, then drink a Rockstar and repeat the process all over again.The second season had three Hulk-sized guys, which was cool because they threw appliances at each other.But this season is weak.A Southern guy who dances with glow sticks professionally? The guy who looks like a real-life “Dragon Ball-Z” character?The one trashy show I watch is getting stale in its third season. Either the characters are just too unbelievable or I’ve seen it all before.So I made a list of tool descriptions the show might seek out for its fourth season, if it ever happens.How about the vegan tool? He breaks down in the middle of the show because none of the other tools understand why he chooses only to eat pumpkin seed-crusted lentil patties. His girlfriends want to have a normal dinner with him, but he’s off cheating with his girlfriend at vegan mixers.It would be like watching “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”  as directed by Moby.What if VH1 included the anime-obsessed tool? He always makes fun of his girlfriend because she doesn’t have as good a figure as the chick from “Ghost in the Shell.” The girlfriend would be crying in an interview, “He always says he’s gonna break up with me because I don’t have cartoon breasts.”Another terrible tool to add would be the guy that only drinks Michelob Ultra. Of course, he would be more than 35 years old, making him the oldest contestant to appear on “Tool Academy.” He would still rock out with Dane Cook’s  “Retaliation,” Polos, the frat strap and socks with sandals. He could be seen at your local bar, banging his head to the ‘80s cover band, downing Michelob Ultras.After trying to have a conversation with the Vegan and anime-watching tools, he would get livid, throw up his arms and scream, “Ugh, I’m gonna need another Michelob Ultra to deal with you pansies!”Then, out of nowhere, the tool who only listens to Modest Mouse would pop out of his room.He would be dressed in corduroy pants, a hat and have a quirky mustache. He carries his journal and fifth of Maker’s with him everywhere he goes.His conversations consist of: “Dude, I’m over this. I’mma go back to my hole and listen to ‘The Moon and Antarctica’ for another three hours,” and “Tell me when this life is over,” and “Bukoksi was right. Modest Mouse knew that.”Maybe you’re right. This wouldn’t make for a good cast of “Tool Academy.”  I’m not so sure myself.I’ll just take my pitch for grouping the most awkward characters ever and putting them in a room together and take it somewhere else.It would still be better than reruns of “The George Lopez Show.” Matthew Sigur is a 22-year-old mass communication senior from West Monroe. Follow him on Twitter @ TDR_msigur.—-Contact Matthew Sigur at [email protected].