It’s coming.Spring has arrived. Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.Looking around campus this week and seeing all the smiling couples, you might feel a bit down in the dumps.I know the feeling. And it’s completely understandable.But don’t take the bait. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t drag your spirits down. It should be celebrated as your personal independence day.Sure, your friends who are in relationships might appear happy. But that emotional high only lasts one day. The other 364 days, they’re stuck in shackles, and you get to roam the campus as a free man.So why are college relationships such an enormous mistake? Glad you asked, bro.There are four fundamental reasons college relationships are tragic mistakes, according to world-renowned philander Barney Stinson.First, a relationship is a terrible, terrible financial investment. At a stage in life where time is money, having a college relationship is as economically illogical as distributing used condoms at an abstinence convention.From a logistical standpoint, there’s no such thing as a safe relationship. The battlefield of love is strewn with financial landmines. Since the chances of landing “the one” are astronomically low, it all comes down to blind luck. But one thing is certain: If you throw all your money in too soon, you’re bound to bust faster than Sonny Bono on a bunny slope.Second, relationships suck the life out of friendships.From one bro to another, get out while you still can. Trade that dirty old leash in for a popped collar and a drunken guys’ night on the town.Third, they’re a colossal waste of time and resources.Looking for young love is like going to see an M. Night Shyamalan film. It looks crazy, and all your friends say it sucks, but you go see it anyway. After wasting a significant portion of your time waiting to see if the story is going anywhere, you find out it was all a dumb hoax and storm from the theater wondering, “Why the hell did I go see that?”So don’t get sucked into seeing another dumb movie, bro.Lastly, there are the overwhelming statistics. Sixty percent of the time, college relationships fail every time, according to Madeupstatistics.org. What’s worse — once you’re locked in to a relationship, a peaceful exit is virtually impossible. Tampons can plug up a lot of unexpected breaches. But they can’t staunch the blood loss in a dying relationship.Expecting a college relationship will end well if things don’t work out is about as lethal as anticipating that a driver will magically obey the rules of the road.Pointless metaphors aside, what’s the point?You invest all that time and money into someone else, and what’s the payout? A shattered heart, a signature collection of cold showers and a cesspool of wasted memories.Broken hearts might make for great music and entertaining films, but they don’t make for stable psyches and fat savings accounts.So if relationships are so futile, why do so many students insist on boarding the love train, knowing they’re going to crash faster than Heath Ledger’s intestines?The answer is simple — because there’s always that unknown “X-factor.”Every now and then, crazy things happen. A poker player gets dealt a royal flush. A hillbilly strikes black gold. A Hail Mary pass gets caught.The Saints win the Super Bowl.Not taking a chance on love might be the biggest chance of all.Many times the best decisions in life can’t be calculated. Sometimes you have to go out on a limb and take the million-to-one odds. Sometimes “you just gotta have faith.”Young love might be entirely illogical, but so are many of the best things in life.Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll meet my Snooki, and we’ll live happily ever after on the fecal-infested waters of the Jersey Shore.Until that day, I’ll just have to sit back and play skeptic.Scott Burns is a 20-year-old economics junior from Baton Rouge. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_sburns.– – – -Contact Scott Burns at [email protected]