Chancellor Michael Martin is leaving LSU’s stately oaks, broad magnolias and inspiring halls behind for moving paintings, whizzing broomsticks and a Chamber of Secrets as he takes on the position of headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Martin announced news of his decision via a Floo Network press conference Thursday, citing a host of reasons for his choice to take the headmaster job, including his passion for hippogriffs and the personal-hygiene habits of the wizarding world.
“People outside the Muggle world are much more accepting of excessive facial hair, and I’ve always found I do my best work with a beard of at least two feet,” Martin said.
But Martin’s tenure at the magical school won’t be all eccentric beards and Quidditch matches. Much like the University, Hogwarts is undergoing tough financial times as the Ministry of Magic has recently slashed galleons upon galleons of the school’s budget.
Because of monetary woes, Martin will take the reins of Hogwarts amid large program reductions. To combat budget cuts, Hogwarts has recently eliminated upper-level Muggle Studies courses and called upon school ghosts and house elves who are willing to teach courses without pay.
Martin said before arriving at the castle, he plans to send an owl to each student and faculty member asking what each sees as Hogwarts’ most important priorities.
Some students have ideas about things Martin could do to solve the budget issues.
“I hope he cuts the potions program,” said Zelda Wilchenstein, herbology second year. “If I never saw a cauldron again in my life, it would be too soon.”
But Martin said he is confident the school’s passion for magic and his enthusiasm for the job will make it easier to deal with the budget crisis.
“I want to arrive at Hogwarts with my best wand forward,” he said.