Listen up, female Tigerland friends: I hold a solution to all of your problems. You’ve probably heard of it — Plan B One-Step.
For those of you who are against the use of birth control just for the purpose of having sex, just wait a minute and hear me out.
If you aren’t aware, Plan B is a progestin-only emergency contraceptive that inhibits ovulation by disrupting a woman’s normal hormone cycle, according to Medscape.com.
Plan B is effective up to 72 hours after intercourse, earning it the name “the morning after pill.”
Though Plan B may seem like a life-saver — or life-preventer, if you will — you could sill have a problem after a long night at Mike’s and later a drunken romp with the cute guy named something like Webber who was wearing a button-down Polo.
You may not remember losing your virginity or if Webber wore a condom, and you may have caught the worst STD of all — unplanned pregnancy.
But you shouldn’t fret as long as the makers of Plan B have anything to do with it. You still have 72 hours before the tailed Michael Phelpses swim to the other side of the pool and receive their single-celled trophy. At this point, you can still execute Plan B.
So you go to the pharmacy and ask for Plan B.
Here’s where the next problem lies. Plan B is expensive. Local Winn-Dixie pharmacist Rafik Dib said the pill can cost from $50 to $60.
And when you’re about to check out, you realize you spent all your money on drinks at Mike’s last night. What a shame. You then go home and cry.
While you cry, you ask yourself, “How could such a small pill be so expensive?”
Well, here’s the answer.
Before any drug is released for public consumption, it has been through nearly 12 years of Food and Drug Administration testing and developing, according to Drugs.com.
“Drug companies need at least 1,000 patients to test the drug on, and the company must pay both patients and the scientists,” Dib said of the long process.
It’s no wonder this drug costs so much.
Dib also attributed the high prices to demand. He said although the nearby Winn-Dixie is a small pharmacy, daily sales can hit around 30 boxes a day — especially after Valentine’s Day.
I’ll avoid discussing the moral implications about the drug. So all biases aside, Plan B may be worth the $60 you’ll shell out for it.
The price seems ridiculous for such a small pill, but after looking into the processes, the cost to make it and how much less it costs than a child, it’s worth it.
I know you’ll complain that drug companies don’t need the money. I agree — they do not.
You still have numerous other ways to defeat little Michael Phelpses in their swimming pool of mucosa. With a little TigerCash, the trusty Durex condoms sold in Outtakes would be an obvious start. And despite Jonah Hill saying young girls don’t need lube in “Superbad,” a bottle of spermicidal lube can help out, too.
Both of these are significantly less expensive than the potent Plan B pill. And if you can’t take advantage of these, you deserve to be out $60 the next day.
There is one last resort if you can’t dish out the money for Plan B. This option may not cost you anything at all. It is possible to use standard birth control pills as emergency contraception, according to The Mayo Clinic’s website.
Better hope you have some nice hormone-regulated friends with a nice surplus of Yaz.
But really, in the end, Plan B may be just what college students need. Unplanned pregnancies can easily ruin a college career.
Though students are told to be responsible, the truth is no matter what happens, we won’t be. Most students are sill going to sleep with as many people as they want, and depending on the circumstances, contraceptive methods may not be used — especially if the guy forgets his “responsibility” to bring a condom along.
So to all those who choose to let their partners put the icing on the cake, I give you Plan B One-Step — the sprinkles, if you will.
Chris Grillot is a 19-year-old mass communication and English sophomore from New Orleans. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_Cgrillot.
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Contact Chris Grillot at [email protected]