So, how long have you and your boyfriend been miserable together?
Sometimes I think people enjoy self-inflicted torment. According to a Southeastern University study, 31 percent of those surveyed said they “sometimes” stayed in relationships they thought should end, and 32.3 percent said they stayed in relationships which became “unhappy.”
This is thoroughly disappointing, and although the demographic was men and women, I have a feeling most of this percentage was women.
Guys stay in unsatisfying relationships, too, but it’s clearly more prevalent for women. Women like to take on guys that are challenging, much like a project. They like to say they want a nice guy who bends over backwards with flowers and compliments pouring out of his every orifice. But we all know the truth.
Most girls want a confident Casanova who will fall madly in love, change his ways and eventually become Prince Charming.
The first mistake is thinking you’re going to change him. That’s not going to happen. Most girls are willing to wait around until he does change. The problem here is what’s being done to you in the meantime.
Putting up with these tools day after day is hurting you. The more you compromise and take the beating, the more you break down. Not only is this bad for yourself, but if he does somehow end up changing for the better, this period of emotional abuse is building up resentment that will cause conflict later.
Of course relationships require some compromise and sacrifice, but it needs to be on both ends. If one person is constantly giving while the other is taking, there won’t be anything left.
Girls tend to be more willing to have things off balance in favor of her partner. They want to nurture the relationship and fix it, and so they sacrifice a little happiness for his sake.
People want to be in relationships, and when a girl feels she’s in love, she’s often willing to do anything to stay there, including being taken for granted. It’s worth it as long as you’re together, right?
I know it’s difficult sometimes, but use your brain. Is being in an unsatisfying, perhaps even abusive relationship better than not being in one?
Sadly, some people would say yes. Maybe if you get out of that crippling situation, you may find someone who’s actually worthy of you. Maybe there really is someone out there who appreciates you and treats you right, but you’ll never know because you refuse to give yourself what you deserve.
Come on, ladies, step it up. I know we’ve been deemed the weaker sex throughout history, but there’s no need to prove it true.
We want to get married and have beautiful children before our biological clock goes off, but at what cost? This isn’t the 1800s, and we aren’t producing families to run the farm. We need to be in fulfilling, healthy relationships before we bring anymore Rons and Sammies a la “Jersey Shore” into this world.
I know, not everyone wants to get married, and even more probably don’t want kids. For the people who make this their top priority, I suggest finding something that makes you happy instead of depending on someone else to provide that. Being in a relationship for the sake of being in one, regardless of how awful or amazing you treat each other, is a setup for failure and disappointment.
Work through problems, but know when enough is enough. Help is available for a reason, so do yourself a favor and come back to reality.
 
Gabie Bacques is a 21-year-old animal science senior from Mandeville, La. You can follow her on Twitter @TDR_Gbacques.
 
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Contact Gabie Bacques at [email protected]