Peace be with you.
And also with you.
Life up your iHearts.
We lift them up to the iLord, Steve Jobs.
These days, it seems like owning an Apple product represents a status symbol.
If any of your products have that infamous Apple stamp on the back, people look at you in different ways.
You’re either rich, a hipster, a fanboy, a college freshman, a Windows-hater, a blind sheep or a combination of them.
In past columns — and in everyday talk — I refer to the iPhone as the “Jesus Phone” and jokingly tell my friends with Apple products their machine has been blessed by Steve Jobs himself — that’s better than Jesus.
The way Apple lovers flock in droves to buy whatever new iProduct gets iReleased, regardless of the specs or features, can be almost cult-like.
Many criticize me due to my disdain for Apple without listening to my reasoning. Even those who do listen brush me off because I never had much backing to my thoughts.
Until now.
Last month, a BBC documentary featured UK neuroscientists studying the brain patterns of fervent Apple fans.
In the show’s first episode, presenter Alex Riley wanted to analyze what it is about Apple that makes people so emotional.
Emotional indeed — I remember watching video from the iPad 2 press conference and seeing people crying — yes, crying— over the new device.
Riley contacted Alex Brooks, editor of World of Apple and an Apple lover who claims to think about Apple 24 hours a day.
I’m pretty sure men don’t even think about sex for 24 hours a day.
A team of neuroscientists studied Brooks’ brain patterns during an MRI scan and watched how it reacted to both Apple and non-Apple products.
Brooks’  brain activity when shown an Apple product responded the same way as a religious person’s brain when shown a religious item.
While this study is humorous to me in ways few will ever understand, it’s unfortunate the documentary only picked one Apple-crazed person to study.
It’s like choosing someone from Westboro Baptist “Church” and having their brain patterns represent all of Christianity.
It’d be very interesting to see a team of neuroscientists continue this study further on a more broad range of people.
Although this study focused on Apple — and I love to pick on Apple — I’m sure very similar results would appear if someone were to show me images of “Rock Band” or “The Office.”
The same goes with any object a person might really enjoy. It’s all in what you like.
While Brooks’ obsession can be deemed unhealthy by any sane person, if it’s what he loves then more power to him.
Maybe one day we’ll have a group of Apple-loving gurus screaming at us in Free Speech Alley that we’re all going to hell for not downloading the newest version of iTunes or worshipping the ground on which Steve Jobs walks.
I think I’ll go ahead and order a thousand wristbands with “WWSJD?” on them —  hopefully they’ll catch on.
Adam Arinder is a 21-year-old communication studies senior from Baton Rouge. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_aarinder.
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Contact Adam Arinder at [email protected]