From the numerous Reggie’s scandals to the Tigers’ 13-0 season, the University has been busy this semester.
But quite a bit else took place this fall that we should probably re-address. Here’s my list — I call it “stuff that needed to get pointed out again.” Enjoy.
Let’s start from the beginning. Jordan Jefferson and some other football players got in a fight at Shady’s. What did we learn from this? First off, we know that if Brad Wing had been the guy accused of kicking, we would have had a dead body on our hands. Secondly, nothing ever came of the incident and we got our quarterback back.
What next? How about the alleged beating of two gay men by Reggie’s employees. The only message this seemed to send to the community was that Reggie’s was not a safe place for homosexuals.
While we’re on the Reggie’s topic, a photograph surfaced this past week of a young gentleman receiving what resembles a handjob from a rather excited looking young woman. But can you blame the guy for looking so happy about it? When his buddies were yelling “come on” from the sidelines, they meant that literally.
The event allegedly took place at Reggie’s, although it’s difficult to discern an exact location based on the photograph.
I guess the story with Reggie’s is that as long as you’re straight, anything goes.
How about Tyrann Mathieu and the synthetic marijuana scandal? In the middle of Mathieu’s prime, he gets flagged for failing a drug test. I’m still skeptical about this whole situation. Nobody really knows what’s in synthetic marijuana because the government bans certain chemicals on a semi-annual basis, so the formulas have to constantly change to be within the law. Yes, there are tests for certain synthetic strains, but they are not on standard drug tests.
So how can we test for it? THC is what is on a standard drug test, and I’m still not fully convinced it wasn’t the real stuff.
But who cares? If the Honey Badger can go hard on every offense in the SEC and celebrate purple and gold wins with some purp, more power to him.
Don’t forget about “Pitch Perfect,” the movie filmed on campus. “Pitch Perfect,” from my understanding, is the bastard child of “American Pie” and “Glee.” And I don’t mean the decent “American Pies,” I mean the awful ones that only Eugene Levy bothered to stick around for.
I don’t know about anybody else, but I would rather have some cooler celebrities on campus than the girl from “John Tucker Must Die.” She is attractive, don’t get me wrong. I’d just rather have Seth Rogen or the guys from “Workaholics” on campus. You know — stoners.
Plus, we could see our school in a movie that’s actually good.
How about on the national scene? What else happened outside of LSU?
Well, the Republicans still have nobody strong to run against Obama. Herman Cain has turned out to be a tweaker of the George Bluth variety. And as for Romney, didn’t the “South Park” guys write a musical about him?
I’m convinced Bobby Jindal was reelected by a landslide because we really had no better alternative. The Democrats didn’t even bother to endorse anyone.
Kim Kardashian was married for about as long as it took her husband to learn addition. Will we ever know if she did it for the money? Of course she did it for the money.
All in all, an entertaining semester to say the least.
Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanza. Let’s get drunk on some eggnog.
 
Parker Cramer is a 20-year-old political science junior from Houston. Follow him on Twitter @TDR_pcramer.
 
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Contact Parker Cramer at [email protected]