As the temperature drops to a brisk 89 degrees and University women swap out their Nike shorts for leggings, it can only mean one thing: fall has arrived.
‘Tis the season of oversized sweaters, riding boots and infinity scarves.
To celebrate, I headed over to the Starbucks in the Design Building to grab my daily dose of caffeine. As I made my way to the counter, huffing and puffing after the long trek from the Journalism building, the cashier asked for my order.
“One grande Pumpkin Spice latte — extra whipped cream,” I announce. I can almost hear the guy behind me roll his eyes.
“Oh, wait,” I remember just as she finishes ringing up my order. “Can I get that with soy milk?”
Cue another eye roll.
Behold Starbucks’s infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte — the unnaturally orange and syrupy sweet beverage that has become a staple for “basic bitches” everywhere.
According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, which is made by and for basic bitches, a “basic bitch” is any and every 20-something-year-old woman who enjoys wearing leggings as pants, quotes “Friends” and “Mean Girls” on a regular basis and, of course, rejoices at the annual release of her beloved PSL.
According to Urban Dictionary, a basic bitch is a female who is unoriginal and uninteresting. Dull, boring, regular, extra — the list goes on.
But the basic bitch, while painfully simple, is a paradox.
She loves eating pizza and drinking (white) wine, but eschews carbs. She wears workout clothes even when she has no plans to workout. She stealthily plans her future wedding on Pinterest, but takes pride in her hoard of shirts collected from one night stands.
Being a “basic bitch” is a lifestyle commitment. From perfectly filtering her #nofilter selfie through three photo editing programs to deciding whether she identifies as a Serena or a Blair, it’s exhausting, to be honest.
The basic bitch is the culmination of all the expectations of the modern woman — an effortlessly cool exterior paired with a quirky demeanor. Yet in her execution, the basic bitch somehow falls short on both of these things.
For those who use basic bitch as their choice insult, it’s the perfect slight — not quite offensive enough to warrant a reaction from said basic bitch without the aggressor claiming an “overreaction,” (or my personal favorite: “Are you PMS-ing?”) but just derogatory enough to remind her that being a stereotypical female is just about the worst thing she can do.
A veteran basic bitch knows to acknowledge her “basic-ness” before anyone else can because, if she does, it can be empowering in a self-deprecating sort of way.
For a fleeting second, she can be a “Cool Girl”: in on the joke that she’s the punchline for by virtue of being a woman and liking things that women like.
At the heart of hating on the basic bitch is the idea that liking inherently feminine things makes a woman boring, a mindset that has given rise to the classic “I’m not like other girls,” defense.
What’s wrong with other girls? Being a female and a nuanced, multifaceted human being aren’t two mutually exclusive things.
The term basic bitch may be relatively new, but hating on women isn’t.
While the basic bitch has received much undeserved ire from her peers, there is one thing she does best: unabashedly loving what she loves. We could all learn a lesson from the basic bitch on this one.
So go forth, basic bitches. Do what you do best and order PSLs to your heart’s content. And for those of you who just don’t get the appeal, in the wise words of a Disney ice queen, “Let it go.”
Please, I beg you. I just want to Instagram a picture of my Pumpkin Spice latte in peace. #nofilter
Caroline Arbour is a 21-year-old mass communication senior from New Orleans, Louisiana.