College kids going on Spring Break often make a popular pact about the scandalous activities in which they may engage, vowing “what happens in Cancun, stays in Cancun.”
This should have been the case with the new reality-based movie “The Real Cancun.” It is so terrible and lacking in merit it should have stayed in Cancun or on the cutting room floor of a movie studio or anywhere but in theaters where people undoubtedly will waste their money and an hour and a half of their lives seeing it.
The premise of the movie is simple — reality TV pioneers Bunim-Murray Productions (the creators of the genre-defining “Real World” series on MTV) hoped to capitalize on the small-screen phenomenon of voyueristically following strangers in a unique situation.
The idea of a reality-based movie is interesting but fails in practice. Reality TV succeeds because filming these shows takes place during a number of weeks or months, rather than just one week as with this film.
This wealth of footage allows for character and plot development. The Real Cancun lacks both.
Also, viewers tune in to reality TV shows because of the promise of some sort of climax — Joe tells Zora he’s not a millionaire, someone gets married, a naked guy wins money. “The Real Cancun” fails to deliver anything other than tawdry “Girls Gone Wild”-style wet T-shirt contests and body shots.
Perhaps other reality-based movies could work, but this one was doomed from the beginning. The sub-plots — if they can even be considered that — raise the following questions: Will the guy who doesn’t drink go wild? (He does.) Will the guy and girl who go together as “just friends” make out? (They do.) Will anyone get naked with Casey? (Of course.)
As far as the reality of the situation, the movie places 16 college kids in a souped-up resort full of pools, hot tubs and free tequila shots. That sounds totally realistic.
The result of this altered reality was an overly stereotypical mish-mash of every outrageous Spring Break tall tale ever told by a college student. As such, the only people who will like “The Real Cancun” are people who, like Texas castmember Alan, “just want to see boobies.”
Co-producer Rick de Oliveira, a staple of productions for MTV’s “The Real World,” told MSNBC the movie isn’t meant to be a social commentary about Spring Break. He said it is meant to be silly.
“We wanted to make it a comedy, which it is,” de Oliveira told MSNBC. “We try not to take it too seriously; we try to make fun of ourselves. There are some silly moments in there.”
Perhaps he saw a different version of the movie, which is so chock full of salacious, breast-driven close-ups that any comedic moments were lost in between the cast’s set of topless identical twins grinding against each other to win a contest.
The only truly funny part of the movie comes early on when the crew brings in a Mexican mariachi-style band to rouse hungover cast members the morning after their first night of partying. Now that was hilarious.
Apparently moviegoers missed the movie’s comedic appeal too. The movie debuted last weekend to mixed reviews and weak box office returns of only $2.1 million. Co-producer de Oliveira told CNN the movie probably will make most of its money from a later DVD release that will have an unrated cut of the movie and clips too scandalous for the theater.