Just when you thought Cuff was drifting away from its semi-funny banter, your friendly humor columnist started acting like a real reporter and went out looking for some high quality, entertaining journalism.
It didn’t take long to find some.
No. 1: Stacey Pressman’s column at ESPN.com.
Only recently did I come across Pressman’s column, which offers a female’s perspective on life and sports.
Her latest really got me hooked.
This column is about guys she fittingly finds attractive, but these guys are not necessarily physically fit. She calls them “Sexy Chubby.”
She listed pro athletes and singers like Charles Barkley, Garth Brooks and American Idol “tubby teddy bear” Ruben Studdard as having truly appetizing physiques. They are making chubby sexy, she said.
Stacey, sweetheart, I love you.
Thanks for recognizing that touchable tummies like those guys’ and mine are safer than those “ripped” six packs that can cause injury to a lady’s hand.
Pressman is echoing my thoughts in a recent Cuff about leaving wasted time spent working out and running.
Why work out, seeking 5 percent body fat and a toned body, when the ladies like a little belly, anyway?
Stacey, you have inspired me and lots of my fellow “gut-luptuos” friends to keep shaking our jelly bellies.
No. 2: The Baptist Message.
As I noted in the last Cuff, I am a Baptist. So I do not necessarily wish to offend either my fellow Baptists or God.
But in last week’s Louisiana Baptist Convention publication, I found a classic typo – a copy editor’s nightmare.
There are few things funnier than the wrongly written or misplaced word.
In a brief about the Southern Baptist Convention’s views on evangelizing homosexuals, I found a most appropriately inserted tactical error.
The SBC meant to say it was sending the “message” of the Gospel to homosexuals. Instead, The Baptist Message said the SBC would give a “massage” to homosexuals.
Is that great or what? I’ve got to call them and ask if you have to be gay to get a free massage.
No. 3: Auburn University public relations.
It has been brought to my attention that a live mascot at one of our fellow Southeastern Conference schools recently had a close call.
According to an Auburn public relations officer, “Tiger” the war eagle who flies high over the university’s stadium during football games, recently was exposed to West Nile virus.
Tiger was being housed with other raptors – birds of prey – when at least one of the other birds contracted West Nile.
No, (unfortunately) Tiger was not infected by the virus, so he did not die. But it is a dang funny story.
I know Auburn students have that identity crisis about being war eagles or tigers, but who names a bird after a feline, anyway?
Such blasphemy of a proper mascot should be avoided. When it’s not, karmic experiences like close encounters with West Nile run rampant!
May these words instill fear in the hearts of Auburn’s football team! The real Tigers have more of a punch than even West Nile can bring waiting for you this fall!
Tell Adam about other Cuff-worthy journalism at [email protected]