It is a tragedy of magnanimous proportions.
A horror unparalleled. A crime so heinous no human punishmentserves justice.
Tuesday night Sean Combs, aka “P. Diddy,” sweptacross the nation like the Angel of Death and murdered all eligiblevoters who chose not to cast a vote Super Tuesday.
And to think, we all thought he was just being a littledramatic.
For the untold millions slain, the proverbial Fourth Wallobviously failed them.
Officials are still unsure of how Diddy made it across thenation in a few hours, but I am told Santa Claus has beenquestioned by the authorities.
As for Diddy, a video surfaced online of him walking through amountainous terrain in a fabulous black, double breastedpin-striped suit. His footwear was unable to be seen, but videoanalyst suspects they were two-toned Italian leather — andfabulous as well.
FBI Director Robert Mueller said in a press conference thatDiddy’s assets or “bling” had been frozen and anextensive investigation had been underway, though the whereaboutsof Diddy were unknown.
President Bush will meet with the United Nations today todiscuss the possibility of Sri Lanka’s involvement inharboring or aiding Diddy through untold hours of knitting heavycotton sweaters for Diddy’s fashion line, Sean John’swinter line.
The Pentagon hopes to have boots on the ground by the end of theweek.
Some people question the factuality of the voting apatheticgenocide, or what the hip-hop industry has called the”Holla-Kost.”
Some have said it never happened.
Regardless, millions of Americans woke up Wednesday morning tofind loved ones dead in their beds.
The one common thread of all victims was their failure to votethe day before — that or they didn’t have lamb’sblood stained on their doorway.
Well, I guess there’s only one thing we can say … man,that sucks.
Anywho, that was some of the worst marketing I’d everseen.
Vote or Die. Almost as bad as the time Diddy covered LedZeppelin’s “Kashmir” and changed the words to”Come with me. Come with me.” If that wasn’tenough, he made Jimmy Page play with him — that stealer ofrock gods.
Jimmy is old … leave him alone.
P. Diddy’s evil has been long overlooked.
Hello, did anyone notice the velour hoodies he introduced lastfall? That alone made him deserving of exile.
But, I do suppose he taught us a good lesson … vote and youwill live, do not and you will die.
Hey, I bought the T-shirt.