If I ruled the sports world, things would be a lot different.
For starters, I would eliminate all the “quiet” out of these sports.
Golf – Is it really necessary for the gallery to be stone silent as a guy taps a ball with a golf club. If baseball and basketball players can do all the skill moves they do with thousands of fans cheering, golfers can do it too.
It will give the sport a competitive edge too. Let the opponent have a one-time air horn blow in the golfer’s ear. Then we’ll see how good Tiger Woods really is when Phil Mickelson blasts as he tries to make the winning put on the 18th green of The Masters.
Tennis – Same thing here. Why the utter silence for throwing a tennis ball in the air and smacking it around? Again, we’ve got to add another difficulty element here. Let someone from the crowd randomly throw a ball at the player when they’re tossing their ball up. Or better yet, when someone feels the need to streak across Centre Court at Wimbledon, don’t arrest them. Let them frolic around a 100 mph forehand
Continuing on with my never-ending reign as sports dictator, I would fire ESPN college football analysts Trev Alberts, Mark May and Ivan Maisel and replace them with virtually anyone else who can speak and has a basic knowledge of sports. These analysts’ awful and misguided insight to the college game has no room in my new world.
Alberts, who ruffled Arkansas coach Houston Nutt’s feathers by claiming Nutt was dishonest with Nebraska, using the school and its open coaching spot to get a pay raise from the Razorbacks. Nutt is calling for an on-air apology from Alberts, who played at Nebraska in the early 1990s.
Alberts’ problem, much like some of his network colleagues, is they let their pride for their school color their journalistic integrity.
Keeping with the college football theme, the national championship would be settled on the field, not in the BCS or a parking lot. My new way to configure the teams playing in the title game will be very simple – If two teams are undefeated, no matter what conference they are in, they’re the top two. If there are more than two undefeated teams or only one undefeated team and several one-loss teams, the top eight teams will be in a playoff after the season.
That’s right. No more situations like this season when LSU won the BCS or “computer” national title and got the crystal ball, while USC claimed the Associated Press, West Coast media-driven, cry-baby title and had to settle for the duct tape, Wal-Mart-bought AP trophy.
This will prohibit all those charities trying to get LSU and USC to play in an unsanctioned game for $30 million as was the case recently. There’s no need. LSU and USC are champions, whatever that means anymore.