Every once in a lifetime, a star will touch down to earth. In that glittering moment, humanity is connected in a blazing supernova of awe. Such a star was TikTok.
TikTok, the short-form content app meant for dancing that defied expectations and became a nebula of human connection, is laying upon a sweet bed of roses. After years of threats to ban and bar the platform, her opponents have won.
I know we mourn; I feel our despair reverberating across the land. Alas, we must look past the remnants of this dying star and raise our eyes to the future. What will we allow to steal our data and valuable time now?
Are we to put down our phones? Go outside? Touch grass and unplug from the internet world that is much more desirable than our daily mortal coil?
You could. It’s probably a good idea to do as much. Start reading again, instead of watching people live the life you want; you could make active moves to create that life for yourself.
Or, you could say no to growth like I am. Instead, you can do what is perhaps the thing humans do best: be spiteful. There are several apps that sit before the masses attempting to ascend into the role of the supreme. Here are my thoughts on some of the top picks.
Instagram, more so the Reels feature on Instagram, is the most plebeian, troglodyte, corporate sellout of a choice. Not only is it an American company, but it just isn’t a good replacement. The algorithm is not up to par, and in my belief, Instagram should do what it does best only: post photos in a slideshow format. My reasoning can be boiled down to an ancient proverb, “Don’t eat where you poop.”
In the same vein as Instagram, we have X (formerly Twitter.) Just no. X is its own thing, so far removed from TikTok. It is a cesspool of all of its own acrimonious making. It is a place for grifters and people who either care too much or too little. Absolutely ruined by Elon Musk.
In all honesty, the best choice is obvious for Americans. We need to really use this moment to show that the government’s unsupported banning of TikTok is a horrible mistake on their part by downloading an app all but unheard of in America. The most spiteful choice is Xiaohongshu.
Xiaohongshu, also known as “Red Note” or “Little Red Book,” is the Chinese equivalent of TikTok. Is it heavily censored like most (if not all) Chinese media? Yes, of course.
However, the irony of TikTok being attacked over it allegedly stealing the data of American users and giving it to the Chinese government just for American citizens to travel to a Chinese app controlled by the Chinese government cannot be overstated.
Xiaohongshu has already opened its gates to American users, the two countries’ distinct citizens having a plethora of funny interactions. From what can be seen on social media, it seems that the TikTok transfers have begun calling themselves refugees and that the Xiaohongshu natives have been nothing but welcoming.
TikTok is on her deathbed, but perhaps a shining, spiteful shooting star is streaking across the sky for any Americans who desire to stick it to the government.
Garrett McEntee is a 19-year-old English sophomore from Benton.
