In the past you could meet someone at a dinner party, have a great discussion and that’s it. Or you small talk strangers at a concert, experience your favorite artist together and poof! They’re a distant memory.
That’s so 1985.
Times have changed. In today’s digital age, after exchanging usernames, we have a virtual presence in each other’s lives until we unfollow.
I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across someone from my past. As I moved through the sea of college graduation posts, a recent move, a new career pursuit, I thought, “It’s kind of weird how everything I know about them isn’t because they conveyed it to me over lunch; it’s all in photo dumps.”
I may have only spent limited time with the aforementioned person, but I know they have siblings, where they call home, their best friends, favorite hobbies, who their ex-partners are, etc. And no, that’s not because we played 21 Questions the night we met. It’s because of their social media.
That’s wild. We know so much yet so little about each other.
When we’re not experiencing life with a person, we only know their curated image, not what’s below the surface. We can easily make false assumptions about each other based on our grids.
We don’t necessarily see the private celebrations, intimate moments, heartfelt conversations or even heartache and occasional loneliness. We don’t see the full picture.
If you take a deep dive through my Instagram highlights you could almost fool anyone into thinking you’ve known me for years.
Most of my followers are made up of childhood friends, classmates old and new, family, as well as content creators I’ve met through my micro-influencer era. Anything I’ve ever posted on Instagram has been authentic.
However, it’s not the entirety of who I am. You would actually have to take the time to get to know me to know me.
Just because I post myself enjoying life poolside doesn’t mean I’m not also dealing with life – the good, bad and everything in between. You’re seeing a mere glimpse, as I prefer sharing more of myself with my inner circle. I don’t feel obligated to show my followers every detail of my existence. Unlike popular influencers with millions of people tuning into their lives, I’m just a girl with a private Instagram account. I don’t need to be relatable or completely transparent.
We’re in control of what we choose to share and who we choose to share with. Who we allow to have access to our lives, whether virtual or not, matters.
Recently, I was talking with my friend Camden about Instagram vs. real life. She said, “If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to someone to say happy birthday or send condolences, you shouldn’t be following them.”
I agree.
Aside from celebrity accounts and favorite content creators, maybe our Instagram circle should mimic our inner circle in real life.
An Instagram unfollowing spree is brewing. And may the odds be ever in your favor.
At the end of the day, virtual friends only know the curated version of each other’s lives, the version where perfect bikini pics and aesthetic lattes make up our grids. That’s it, and that’s all.
Unless we’re brave enough to get to know each other in real life, we’re destined for fragmented virtual interactions instead of relationships: a curated reality.
Ava Francis is a 22-year-old journalism major from New Orleans residing in Texas.
