Valentine’s Day is upon us. For some people, that means picking out gifts, planning dates and enjoying time with their significant others. For others, it means ordering DoorDash and rewatching “Taxi Driver.”
For the latter group, Valentine’s Day is an unpleasant reminder that there are people with loving relationships in the world, a stark contrast to their own lives, void of any meaningful relationships, romantic or otherwise. The idea that not everyone shares their loneliness is a thought that is equal parts surprising and frustrating.
I find it odd that in this time of social progress, one notable group of marginalized people is excluded: the lonely. For too long, lonely people have been ignored and treated as second-class citizens.
People in relationships flaunt their privilege every day, but Valentine’s Day is when they’re at their worst, gallivanting around town, holding hands and oftentimes smiling.
We get it. You’re happy. You’ve won, so stop running up the score on everyone else. Have some class and kneel the ball.
The lonely need to stand up and demand the immediate abolishment of the perpetual injustice that is Valentine’s Day. Any displays, store discounts, advertising and signs of affection related to Valentine’s Day should be illegal.
You may be asking yourself, “Wouldn’t that be an infringement upon people’s rights?” Yes, you’re correct. But sometimes rights must be sacrificed to correct injustice.
In place of Valentine’s Day, we should create federal holidays to celebrate the customs of the single.
Feb. 14 could be National Ice Cream Day, a federal holiday dedicated to eating ungodly amounts of ice cream in solitude. We could also replace Valentine’s Day with National Play Video Games for 10 Hours-Straight Day. These alternative holidays would encourage those in relationships to spend their time like the rest of us.
National Divorce Statistics Day would be another great Valentine’s Day solution, a holiday dedicated to spreading awareness about the likelihood of divorce and the severity of the issues associated with it.
Almost 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce or separation, and not enough people seem to know that based on the number of couples. National Divorce Statistics Day would be an opportunity to warn the public.
There could be billboards that announce, “Half of marriages end in someone losing half of their money.” Flyers that read, “Trying to find love? Stop, it doesn’t exist.” Advertisements on trains and busses that caution, “Break up while it’s free.”
This particular idea for replacing Valentine’s Day would swap a day for flaunting privilege with an opportunity to remind Americans of the possibility of having to end up in family court.
Opponents of these propositions may decry the destruction of American freedom. They may condemn the government for taking a stance against all relationships. They may even accuse proponents of this alternate world Valentine’s Day of being love-hating, cynical curmudgeons.
While these may be valid critiques, I believe that to combat relationship hegemony, we must move past them. We need to progress beyond the outdated thinking of relationship supremacy and move towards a more equitable society. Time is moving forward, and we must move with it.
Congress, get it done.
Frank Kidd is a 20-year-old mass communication junior from Springfield.