It’s time Louisiana returns to its origins. Let’s become a constitutional monarchy.
There were better days, when imperialistic palaces covered the landscape and extravagant courts entertained the nobility. Although this never existed in the swamps of Louisiana, our French roots can still be seen today.
A monarchy ruled New France for hundreds of years. It worked well in England and sorta-kinda-maybe worked well in France.
What could go wrong? It’s not like the monarch will flee to Mississippi asking for military assistance to reclaim the throne if he loses power or anything.
We can always have a Holy Roman Emperor if people aren’t interested in a king. There hasn’t been one in quite some time, but I guess it would depend on whether the Pope is up for it.
The monarchy in France survived for hundreds of years, with its pinnacle of success during the reign of the Sun King. Sure, the French could never win wars, but it’s a good thing it would never be an issue for our state.
The governor’s position in Louisiana was always considered royal and expanded under the tenure of former Gov. Huey P. Long. The legislation is already at the Governor’s beck and call. It appears our Imperial Governor already has powers similar to a monarch.
Let’s make it official. I suggest we have an open DNA testing option throughout the entire state to determine who the closest living relatives of the Bourbon bloodline.
The monarch might even have a claim to the French throne. Worst case scenario — King Bobby Jindal? Maybe not. I fear his power and ambition would develop too far.
I’m sure someone will have the Bourbon blood, and if not, we can always test for different noble blood or other monarchal bloodlines. In order for all of this to happen, we would have to amend the state’s constitution.
Having yes or no checkboxes on voter ballots is how amendments are decided by the state’s popular consensus. Seems like an easy way to make such a large political changing decision.
If not, we can start a revolution in Louisiana and force someone to take the throne. After, we can incite revolutions in neighboring states until the entire country becomes a monarchy.
With a constitutional monarchy, we can give the king a certain spending budget each year to carry out his executive duties funded by the National Assembly, the group to replace the Louisiana state Legislature.
The monarchy can take up residence in the old capital building. We can even create an active public donation fund to build a winter palace boathouse on the bayou.
The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers can dig a moat around the old Capitol Building and use our ample supply of alligators to defend our ruler. The bayou boat palace should be equipped with agile escape routes via pirogues.
Louisiana will become a larger tourist attraction in the United States. Just as people enjoy following the royal family of England, there may be popularity for the royal family of Louisiana.
A monarchy would make Louisiana even more distinctive than it already is, but more importantly, it could develop the culture in extraordinary ways.
Garrett Marcel is a 21-year-old petroleum engineering senior from Houma, Louisiana. You can reach him on Twitter @Gret419.