Desperate politics call for desperate measures.
I like to think this went through the mind of Gov. Bobby Jindal when he signed on to join Rick Santorum, the Tim Tebow of politics, on an Iowa bus tour this week. The tour, Jindal told The Des Moines Register, is to “uphold our values, freedoms and constitutional rights.”
So which particular freedoms will these conservative crime-fighters be touring Iowa to preserve?
The freedom of homosexuals to not marry, particularly.
More particularly, the freedom of the humble Iowans to hit the polls in November and aid the ouster of Iowa Supreme Court Justice David Wiggins, who, in 2009, supported a court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage in Iowa.
That’s right: Touring Iowa with Rick “leave-the-constitution, take-the-sweater-vest” Santorum to keep gay couples from marrying is more appealing to our governor than being in his home state, which is riddled with actual problems.
Santorum is beginning this tour today, and Jindal will join forces Wednesday.
What’s so appalling about Jindal’s decision is that, as stated before, there are far more pertinent issues which require his utmost attention — if you could call any moral legislation pertinent to begin with.
More suppressed homosexuality in Iowa will not keep our state’s flagship university afloat. That’s our football team’s job.
And I dare say it matters little whether you agree with same-sex marriage or not: It would take a fool not to notice the myriad tangible problems facing our state at the moment.
Three bomb threats in the state capital in a week? Yes, I guess these things do just happen.
What’s worse is that, as per the Jindal usual, this is only another empty act with little chance of affecting real change, made only for the headlines it
will produce.
I’ve been to the tiny towns of Pella and Ottumwa, where Santorum will be visiting. I saw the sweater vest appeal to the rural Iowans for their vote in Santorum’s miraculous caucus victory.
Branding every habitant of these towns to be white and überconservative is dangerous, but it would not be presumptuous to assume what kind of
demographics will be attending this dynamic duo’s pit stops.
The only members of the LGBTQ community present will be there to glitter bomb Santorum as they did during the caucus — fingers crossed on this one.
Even if Jindal twiddled his thumbs in his office for a week, at least he’d be in his home state.
Hurricane Isaac, though shrugged aside by the minds of many, could top $2 billion in damages.
Hell, even the AgCenter’s projection that Isaac cut Louisiana’s pecan crop by 15 percent is more pressing than most things in rural Iowa, if only to the people Jindal is purported to represent.
As mentioned previously, last week saw bomb scares at the state’s flagship university, the Baton Rouge Metropolitan Airport and the Hilton Capitol Center downtown.
This list could go on, but the same point would be made time and again: Our state is suffering and exceptionally so, but our governor is appealing to voters in Iowa.
Our slighted state deserves better.
17. Parking on campus
16. Zach Mettenberger’s mustache
15. Naps
14. Protecting the sanctity of Rick Santorum’s sweater vest
13. The breakup of the band LMFAO
12. The conditions of roads in La. (submitted by a writer from a developing country)
11. The Saints’ defensive line
10. Sinkhole in Bayou Corne
9. Communicating with media outlets from your home state
8. The suspension of the Twitter account @Bill_Nye_tho
7. Cleaning up after Hurricane Isaac and coastal erosion
6. Balancing Louisiana’s budget
5. Bomb threat at the Hilton Capitol Center
4. Bomb threat at the Baton Rouge Metropolitan Airport
3. Bomb threat at the flagship university
2. Advocating for same-sex marriage
1. Most things
